Nothing about dealing with suicide is easy. The effects of the taking of one”s own life ripple through the lives of everyone involved. The consequences of such a thing continue long beyond the taken life”s end. I know this because I”ve been through it.
At that point, only questions remain — “What could I have done differently to make this outcome something other than it was?” “Why would he leave his family like that?” “How come she didn”t get the help she so desperately needed?” “Why didn”t I see this coming?”
According to statistics on the Department of Health Services Web site, Lake County”s suicide rate from 1980 to 1996 was the highest in the state. The crude death rate varied from a high of 29.7 per 100,000 population here, compared with 8.6 in Santa Clara County. Lake County”s rate is three times higher than the state average.
Statistically, suicide is predominantly carried out by white males.
Newspapers, as a matter of policy, do not report suicides. The belief is that the publicity associated with covering these acts only promotes more suicides. Recently there have been a few exceptions to this rule. Recently a man tied a rope around his neck, attached the other end to a concrete bench and drove his minivan into the lake at Harbor Park in Lucerne.
More recently, a Ralph Optiz of Lower Lake apparently made an agreement with his wife Eillen Optiz, who was terminally ill from cancer and suffering in great pain. Evidence at the scene suggested he shot her and them himself in a dual mercy killing.
Jan. 10, Johnnie Thomas took his own life after a police standoff in Clearlake.
These events were covered because they happened in a public manner — people in the community were already aware of the event and when that happens, the newspaper has a responsibilty to report what happened.
Many factors affect the likelihood that suicide will occur.
According to the Department of Health Web site, “suicide is a complex behavior that is generally related to multiple risk factors. The majority of people who commit suicide normally have one or more diagnosable mental and/or substance abuse disorders.
The good news is that many of these mental and substance abuse disorders are treatable. In our county there are resources available to everyone who is willing to accept them. Alcohol and Other Drug Services, Mental Health and local hospitals are just a few resources in our neighborhood.
For survivors, there are many resources too. Hospice offers bereavement counseling, which can be very helpful for those reeling from the effects a suicide within the family or circle of friends leaves on an individual. Many of the feelings that arise from such an event may feel quite abnormal, while they are actually quite normal. Feelings of not only loss, but also fear, rejection, shame, anger, and guilt all go with the package.
If you or a family member or friend are feeling suicidal, there are ways to get through it and manage the pain you or they are feeling.
One of the best things to say to someone who is suicidal is, “Are you feeling suicidal?” Many people feel that bringing up the issue like this actually puts the idea into someone”s mind. The opposite is true. This allows the person to speak freely about their feelings and you let them know you take them seriously.
If the answer to this question is “yes,” asking how they would do it, if they have the means to carry it out and what timeframe they have in mind gives a better idea of the immediacy of the situation.
Ultimately, it”s not up to us to decide who”s serious about committing suicide and who”s not. Every threat should be treated as if it is real, and there are many things that can be done for those who are at risk for taking their own life.
The suicide crisis prevention line in Mendocino County is (800) 575-4357.
Editor”s note: Aura Thomas is the news editor for the Lake County Record-Bee. She is also a survivor of her husband”s suicide.
