Thank you Record Bee staff for the recent Heroes publication. These stories were great reminders of the hardships and sacrifices made by our Veterans. Truly, the rest of us could never know what they go through in service to our country.
Shortly after that came the news of a local family losing their young soldier in Iraq. Again, we can”t really know what they must be going through, but as the mother of a deployed son I can tell you what I do know.
I know what it is like to wake in the middle of the night because you heard him call out to you “Mom”, and you wonder, and you think “Oh, God.” I know how it feels to make deals that if only God will keep him safe you will do this or that.
Then sometimes you fail, and then you wonder and think “Oh, God.” I know how it feels to hate the nighttime because it is daylight over there and you know he is never safe. Or, how it feels to kiss a goody box, an ordinary box that becomes huge because soon he will touch it and that is something, anyway.
Then he finally calls and says, “I”m fine” but you hear the exhaustion and the constant sickness in his voice. What you would give to give comfort and rest and get him out of that miserable place for just a little while. Then, he tells you “you won”t be hearing from me for a while”, and you wonder but you don”t ask because you don”t really want to know. He won”t tell you anyway, so your voice smiles while your heart wrenches because you never, ever, ever worry the warrior.
I know what it”s like to look at the picture of a blown apart humvee knowing your son was riding in the following one and you thank God, even while you know somewhere another mother grieves.
In photos you begin to notice that M-16 always in his arms and you wonder how we got into this. To wonder how he will feel if he has to take the life of another, this gentle and caring son we raise. Will he know that God hold no blame for soldiering?
I know the fear of being the mother of a soldier. It comes as a package deal, along with great pride and awe. I know what it is to watch a nineteen year-old boy leave and have to trust as to who the man he is at twenty-two. I also know that I am not alone. When he was a little boy learning to walk I held his hand tight, so he wouldn”t fall.
His first day at school, I held his hand, so he wouldn”t be afraid; and when crossing the street I held his hand to keep him safe. But now he is a soldier at war. And I had to let go. A very hard thing for this mother to do, but another thing I know is that when I let go, our mighty God grabbed on and now it is he who holds his hand.
Regardless of your politics, remember and honor our soldiers and the sacrifices that they as well as their families make. Freedom isn”t free. Thank a veteran and call your mom. She worries.
Debbie Bridges is a resident of Kelseyville, and her son, Jacob, was deployed in Afghanistan for 15 months; he is presently stationed in Japan.
