I really did graduate from high school, college even. I do know my alphabet, can count higher than my 10 fingers and toes, played sports up through high school and pretended to in softball leagues after that, and have been a fan of major league baseball ever since someone gave me an old Mets cap when I was a pup.
I bring this up not for a stroll down memory lane, but to answer some of the more amusing e-mails I received during the course of the 2007-08 sports season, which is now over and all that remains is honoring the Athletes of the Year and Coaches of the Year, and I can assure you the Record-Bee”s annual production is well on its way.
Back in late November, right after my daughter won the CIF State Championship in cross country (Division IV) at Woodward Park in Fresno, an e-mailer fired off a long retort about why she didn”t give a rodent”s behind about me, my daughter, my family, any ancestors or even remote relations, and said my columns sound like a connect-the-dots formula that she really didn”t like. She wondered if I was “ABC challenged,” and in my response to her, I assured her I wasn”t, though the ABC, as in the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control, did investigate the Record-Bee”s Athlete of the Year photo shoot a few years ago when Joe Noel of Lower Lake and Courtney Cowden of Upper Lake were photographed at Robinson Rancheria Casino.
So, in a way, I guess I was “ABC challenged” back then.
But just to prove I know my ABCs, I”ve decided to recite them as sort of a recap of the high school sports year. Please feel free to be offended if necessary as most of you would surely do so even without this warning.
So, without further ado, and making my first-grade teacher, Miss Evert, proud I”m sure, let”s start at the beginning.
A — Anything goes was the theme for the Middletown-Kelseyville varsity boys” basketball meeting at Kelseyville during the winter sports season. Kelseyville wants Middletown fans to be better behaved, while Middletown wants Kelseyville administrators to be better behaved. It was pretty much a draw.
B — Big Brown + Belmont = big bummer.
C — Can”t always go undefeated. One season after laying a 27-0 record on the North Coast Section, the Clear Lake softball team won its first six games before rejoining the ranks of the mortal and losing a game. The Cardinals still went 17-8 and qualified for the playoffs.
D — Dawg crashes and burns with Kentucky Derby pick of Gluehooves.
E — Elizabeth Larson, my former managing editor, still owes me $1.25 from her last week of work. Thought I had forgotten, didn”t you Elizabeth? With interest, it”s $1.39.
F — … just add three more letters after F and it is the derogatory verb of choice in most of the e-mails I received during the season. One e-mailer used it 47 times, which has to be a frickin” record.
G — Great job by Kelseyville”s first-year girls” basketball coach Caitlin Andrus in leading the Knights to a winning record this season.
H — Hidden Valley Lake wins the award for dysfunctional association of the year after first charging high school golfers to play in a regular-season match, then getting rid of golf pro Andy Gonzalez. By the way, no one knows down there (for the record) who made the call to charge the golfers, but Gonzalez is taking the fall. Nice job, guys.
I — Impossible ? no Lake County basketball teams qualified for the North Coast Section playoffs. So I guess it”s possible.
J — Jameson Holder quarterbacked the Clear Lake Cardinals to an undefeated regular season in football.
K — Kelseyville”s mascot remained the Knights.
L — Lower Lake”s varsity football team not only posted its first winning record in a decade, but won the North Central League I North title.
M — Middletown High School”s girls” soccer program logged its first postseason victory, beating Mendocino in the opening round of the Class A playoffs.
N — Nowhere to go but up for the majority of Upper Lake High School”s varsity sports teams. The boys were last in football, basketball and baseball. The girls were last in volleyball, next to last in basketball, and last in softball.
O — Oh my, you mean Ken Hook won”t be coaching basketball at Clear Lake High this coming season? Isn”t there a rule against that?
P — Parental involvement, also known as interference, also known as meddling, also known as patented pain in the posterior. See O.
Q — Quitting is OK nowadays, teammates be damned.
R — Resilient, as in Clear Lake pitcher Liz Sanderson.
S — Sterbank, as in Kaila, set four single-season school records and tied another during the 2008 softball season for the Clear Lake Cardinals.
T — Tyler Hunt of Middletown scored 618 points during the 2007-08 basketball season, the most ever in a single season by a Lake County boy. The 618 points were more than he scored his first two varsity seasons combined. He finished with 1,230, the 12th most by a county player.
U — Underestimated was Clear Lake wrestler Tyler Hayes, who went into the North Coast Section tourney at the No. 6 seed and ended up third to win a berth in the state tournament.
V — Victorious volleyballers were the Lower Lake Trojans, who ended Kelseyville”s stranglehold on the North Central League I North by winning the league title.
W — Within a whisker was Middletown High School golfer Doug Quinones of reaching the NorCal playoffs for a second year in a row. He lost in a playoff for the second straight year.
X — Xmas brought another Hoop Classic championship to Lower Lake varsity basketball coach Marty Udy”s squad as the Trojans went 4-0 at the 14th annual Record-Bee Classic in mid-December at Clear Lake High School (hey, it”s X, give me a break).
Y — Yessica Ayala of the Upper Lake High girls” soccer team will be the first to tell you it”s a full-contact sport.
Z — Zoe Everett starred in soccer and tennis for the Middletown Mustangs in 2007-08, earning an Athlete of the Year nomination.
And there you have it, A-Z, which wasn”t quite as simple as 1-2-3, but I don”t want to steal Michael Jackson”s lyrics.
