I was enjoying my favorite magazine, The New Yorker (Nov. 17, 2008), when I came across a book review written with much eloquence and objectivity, I felt compelled to share. Joan Acocella dissects a book called “A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting,” penned by Hara Estroff Marano, an editor-at-large at Psychology Today.
Acocella points out that what once was called spoiling a child, is now often referred to as “overparenting.” There are a slew of terms available for the same general concept.
Common sense shrieks from the pages of this review. As Cynthia Parkhill and I have discussed in the past, common sense is not really all that common.
I had to read the book. So, I did.
An in-depth examination of the baby video industry brings to the forefront, the ridiculousness of infant videos designed to give children a head-start, the insanity of over-sanitizing absolutely everything, the increasing need to push children into adulthood as they enter preschool, excessive extracurricular activities, followed by parents who actually fill out their children”s applications to college to increase the odds of success.
Marano says that children need to explore their own environments to become adapted to the decision-making process. When parents insist on making every decision for their children, they remove trial-and-error learning. Children must take chances, otherwise they will likely fall victim to anxiety, and negatively effect coping skills.
Most parents certainly do not want to see their children suffer.
Realistically nobody can be happy all the time. I hear a Rolling Stones song in my head right about now.
“You can”t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might just find You get what you need.”
Problem solved. Thanks Mick Jagger and company.
Having a problem prompts the need to find a solution. Children who are allowed to feel and deal with pain, will probably become more well-adjusted adults.
It”s also possible that children who never learn to deal with sadness, frustration or anger independently may seek a quick-fix as an adult in the form of illicit or prescribed drugs and foster a dependence on something or someone rather than feeling confident that the solution is somewhere in their own grasp.
There is a balance about being prepared for life on life”s terms and enjoying childhood as fully as possible.
I would recommend this book for new parents, old parents and other humans. It explores the biological as well as emotional challenges of growing up healthy.
On a lighter note, J.K. Rowling”s new book “The Tales of Beetle the Bard” is a small, lovely piece of writing meant for elementary age children. I picked one up for my neighbor”s grandchildren at Catfish Books in Lakeport.
What makes the book even more special – One hundred percent of the proceeds go directly to children”s charities, a gift that keeps on giving, nice.
Mandy Feder is assistant managing editor/night desk for the Record-Bee. She can be reached at mandyfeder@yahoo.com or 263-5636 ext. 32. Opinions are those of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Lake County Record-Bee or its management.
