Men seldom make passes… At girls who wear glasses… Dorothy Parker
“News Item” has got to be the single most-anthologized and most recognized piece of work by the Algonquin Roundtable”s grand dame. I”ve encountered it numerous times, in various high school and college texts. As an English major, I”d have had a pretty tough time avoiding it, as a matter of fact.
I”d like to think Ms. Parker would be amused by the place these utilitarian and necessary objects have taken in fashion culture. Seeing clearly is a necessity – but with the right pair of glasses!
If you go to an optometrist”s office, there are literally hundreds of options to choose from. I”ve watched over the years as eyeglass frames changed colors to reflect the season”s tastes. Bright or muted metals, tinted and clear frames.
The shape and size of the lenses in the frames are also subject to change, based on the varying whims of fashion. Personally, I always liked the John Lennon round Coke-bottle frames, but my options are generally limited by what is presently in style and fits with my deductible.
Truth be told, really good lenses are my top priority. If it wasn”t for my glasses, everything would be a blur but If it wasn”t for prism lenses, I”d see everything double. The lines on the road would split and veer away into two event horizons.
I suffered for years from constant pain: rubbing or pressing on my eyes, trying to make them stop hurting. Feeling exhausted nearly all the time.
I finally encountered an observation in a book by Dr. Tony Attwood that presented an explanation: light sensitivity. I began wearing dark glasses indoors and I feel so much better now.
Well, as “better” as I can be, when I remain powerless to influence so much else.
There is so much happening in the world that frequently overwhelms me. People who are losing their homes. People laid off from their jobs. People who are close to me. I catch myself and realize my jaw is clenched so tight that it hurts. My hand curls into a fist without my even knowing it.
My gums have receded so deep in my mouth that my roots are exposed in places.
And yes, this stress contributes a factor in how much I can tolerate the light. Sometimes, when I step abruptly from shadow into light, it feels as if a large fist has slammed into my face. Other times, the steady bask of light feels like a rain of hot needles.
Last week, I felt caught in a vise between the pressure of sinus congestion and the pressure of indoor light. The day itself became increasingly stressful; everyone around me was tense. I felt pain in my head and stomach; I was jittery, on edge – and my “shades” stayed on all day.
Knowing that a pain is shared doesn”t necessarily make it easier to tolerate. You merely realize that other people are feeling just as crummy as you, and possibly a whole lot worse. You are bathed in an anxiety that isn”t just yours alone.
Being able to shield my eyes can grant me one small comfort when faced with so much stress.
If I was at home, I could throw a blanket over my head or pull down the brim of my cap until it covered up my eyes – but those are things that I just can”t do in public, where I have responsibilities to meet.
At least wearing dark glasses is an easy and reasonable concession that is entirely within my control – unlike so much else in the world that I wish were otherwise.
Cynthia Parkhill is the focus pages editor for the Record-Bee and the editor of the Clearlake Observer American. She can be reached at cparkhill@clearlakeobserver.com. Opinions are those of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Lake County Record-Bee.
