A few years ago one of the popular bumper stickers read “Mean People Suck.” I think the reason for that statement at that time was because many people had detected a worsening of attitude in the public, in general. If the purpose of the bumper stickers was to get people to soften their approach, I would have to say they failed. Since that time, in my estimation, the public has become even meaner.
Working with the public, as I do, I am often amazed at how many people start off their conversation with a tirade, instead of at least beginning the conversation in a civil tone. It may sound like a Dan Rather-ism, but I have always tried to follow the old saying that “You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.”
My youngest child recently graduated from college and went to work as an assistant manager at a national fast-food restaurant. It”s out of her field, but with the job market as it is, she was pleased to land a great paying job with good benefits. Anyway, she has been amazed at the number of people who say rude things to her while making a complaint about something related to their food order. I would never get ugly with someone at the food place. I saw that movie where the kids spat on the burgers of complainers.
Maybe everyone is watching too much aggressive behavior on television. A new study done by Professor Sarah Coyne at Brigham Young University suggests that the aggression level goes up in people who watch other people being mean to each other on television or in a movie. Professor Coyne used clips from the movie Kill Bill and the television series Mean Girls to conduct her study. Coyne has said that her findings indicate that parents should pay closer attention to the “relational aggression” that their kids are viewing. Perhaps it wouldn”t be a bad idea for us adults to take stock, too.
A great story about a mean person who changed his behavior and went on to much greater success because he did make adjustments to his behavior is former Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin. Rubin spent much of his career at high-powered Wall Street firm Goldman Sachs. Early in his career people described him as “impersonal, short with people and abrupt and preemptory.” Rubin admitted, “Essentially, I was a jerk.”
Rubin said that one day one of the older partners in the firm took him aside and had a chat. He said the partner told him that he could play a much larger role with the company if he would just change his attitude and care about the people he worked with. Rubin was able to change and he soared to co-CEO and then on to Treasury Secretary. People used to think that “nice guys finish last.” It wasn”t that way for Robert Rubin; being less mean saved his career.
I think there are many reasons why people choose to be mean instead of nice. I think stress plays a role, especially now. I believe that ignorance is a factor. Some people just don”t know how to act properly. I believe some young people think it is what they are supposed to do to fit in with their generation. Whatever the reason is, my opinion is that there is no good reason to be mean to a fellow human being.
Gary Dickson is the editor and publisher of the Record-Bee. He can be reached at gdickson@record-bee.com or 263-5636 ext. 24.
