By Karen Wagner ? letters to the editor
I have never written a letter to the editor before but I was touched by a column written by Mandy Feder last Friday called “Funeral for a Friend.” Cindy sounds like she was a wonderful human being who touched a lot of lives with her love and kindness and unselfishness. I thought of how lucky Ms. Feder is to have someone that came into her life and gave something special to carry on for the rest of her life. I guess when we are faced with a huge hurdle, we can either continue on and be positive or we can lay down and let it take us away.
I have an aunt who has faced cancer for the past 20 years and is losing her long battle. She too, has never said “why me?”, but has gone forward with a positive attitude and makes everyone around her feel good. Her thoughts are “there is a boulder in the middle of the road and you can sit there and just wait, you can back up turn around and feel sorry for yourself or you can pull up your boot straps and take the boulder and forge forward not knowing what is on the other side.”
She has made me think of life in a different way. I now enjoy everyday and every moment and never look back as to what if or why. Her spirit is full of life and as the cancer is taking over her entire body she has opted to cut back on her medication so that she can stay alert and focused on her family and friends. She told me the other day that the pain was getting worse, but so far she could handle it, she never complains. She is my hero. When given the news from the doctor that the chemo didn”t work and she had only so much time she told him “I don”t like your time frame. I need more time than that.” She is getting her affairs in order and living her life one day at a time. Again, she never complains and always asks how others are. Our conversations are filled with times past and we always laugh. Her voice is sometimes weak at the start of our conversation, but in time you would never know that she is gravely ill. Recently she celebrated her 70th birthday with about 140 family and friends. It was a lovely affair. My aunt still has kept in contact with friends from kindergarten; imagine that! And friends from high school. To see her with all of these people around her and hear their stories was amazing.
I guess what I am trying to say is that we are gifted to be loved and touched by special people, you, Ms. Feder, with your friend, and me with my aunt. I am sure that they will meet in heaven someday. Ms. Feder, I want to thank you for sharing your friend with all of us, I felt compelled to share my aunt with you.
Karen Wagner
Lakeport
