Did you ever notice that the most beautiful people do not resemble the images that are splashed on magazine covers, hurled at us through unsolicited advertising and airbrushed across every available canvas?
While sitting in a backstage area during a concert recently, I watched a gaggle of 18 to 20-something year old women rush the cramped quarters, shimmying in to every crevice while attempting to appear semi-composed. All of the aforementioned with super-shiny hair, whiter-than-white teeth, perfect glowing tans, jeans faded just-so, accessorized with the newest cell phone technology.
The youthful, hip singer from the band politely maneuvered through the labyrinth of ladies to get to his brother, a man with Albert Einstein white and gray wiry strands pointing every which way, a row of yellowing and twisted teeth on the bottom half of his genuine smile and scores of deep, dark lines all meeting around the corners of his eyes and around his thin pursed lips. A grateful hug took place for more than a fleeting moment. It was the type of embrace that involved all of the body and soul, absent were any polite pats on the back. This moment was chronicled by a sister-in-law who matched her husband physically and probably emotionally and intellectually. She joyously snapped photos of the reunited family members who absorbed the brief moments of raw, unbridled love. It is divinely beautiful to be immersed in a moment with a person who has always loved you, wanted and desired, even prayed for your happiness, success and well-being. No amount of peroxide, Botox or plastic surgery can replicate or replace that.
The scene made me think of the people I love. I visualize each physical attribute that separates my loved ones from the masses, including and certainly not limited to, crooked smiles, scars, freckles, baldness and a myriad of other characteristics. The very traits that are often cursed and even ridiculed are the same ones that make people endearing and memorable.
I am not sure just who decided that we are meant to be carbon-copies of one another with the only variances represented by hair color or other surface qualities.
The rock ”n” roll star has been all over the world and seen women of every shape, color, size and ethnicity. The women backstage wanted to stand out and be noticed. They tried to achieve that by acting and looking like everyone else. That, in and of itself, is a bizarre concept that cannot likely represent any type of reality.
What do you give the person who has everything?
Depth I say.
This is not to imply that physically attractive people lack depth.
The unfortunate truth is that more often than not, the depth of the person is often overlooked and dismissed because of the outward physical appearance. I had a friend who told me once that she was tired of being beautiful and instead wanted to be taken seriously.
I”ve watched women make catty remarks out of envy and men make assumptions of promiscuity out of ignorance.
Even worse I have seen too many treat others as the stepping stones to elevate themselves. If you are spending any amount of time participating in condemning, laughing at or focusing on other people”s appearances, it may be an appropriate time to take a good long look in the mirror. You may see that the biggest problem that you have is staring right back at you. People who indulge in that type of behavior and thinking are about as deep as a puddle on a flat sidewalk in Phoenix, Arizona on a summer day.
The young women backstage were enjoying their youth, as they often do and really should. We are all entitled to live the seasons of our lives and participate in rites of passage.
But in the end the ability to look inside of the soul shell and discover who you are dealing with on a level of personal achievement, compassion and intelligence, far and away overrides and supercedes the ability to have a picture-perfect moment in youth.
Mandy Feder is the Record-Bee news editor. She can be reached at mandyfeder@yahoo.com or call her directly at 263-5636 ext.32.
