Clear Lake looked like a sheet of blue glass from the deck of the home in the Rivieras that I was house-sitting. A friend went overseas and asked if I could stay with her cat, check her mail and water her plants for a couple of weeks.
I spent my time there noting Orion”s Belt and Venus at night from the serene setting. One neighbor stopped by periodically to see if I needed anything. Otherwise it was still and quiet. Just crickets.
On my last day at her house, at 7 a.m. on Tuesday, the peaceful glass shattered with vile profanity. I looked from the sliding glass door and saw a mother and her two children getting into a car across the street. A man, maybe her husband and maybe the children”s father, maybe not, was screaming at the woman. The sun caught the spit drops flying from his angry mouth about an inch from her face. He turned his baseball cap with the bill facing back for maximum access. He pointed his finger and poked her in the chest over and over again, all in the name of love.
The elementary school-aged-children wore clean clothing and had their hair done neatly. They held little lunchboxes and sported tiny backpacks. With fear in their eyes they scurried into the economy car and buckled up. As the mother got into the driver”s side the man punched the car and said, “Leave, I won”t be here when you get back.” I bet the children wished it was true.
But he was there when she got back. He picked up where he left off. I never heard the woman”s voice. He noticed me inside the house near the deck and began to yell at me too. He advised that I mind my own business, just not in those words.
She stood in the street with her head held down until he got into a car, peeled out and sped away.
I”m sure those children”s thoughts were reeling all day at school and it would have nothing to do with academics. It would probably even overshadow recess. That is, unless, they are accustomed to the scenario. In that case, those children will likely grow up and become victims of domestic violence or the aggressors.
According to the Domestic Violence Resource Center, nationally estimates range from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend to three million women who are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year.
Women account for 85 percent of the victims of intimate partner violence, men for approximately 15 percent, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics. Additionally, women between the ages of 20 to 24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence affects people regardless of income. However, people with low-annual income are at a three times higher risk nationally.
In Lake County, from July 1, 2008 to June 30, 2009, the Lake Family Resource Center responded to 825 domestic violence calls, sheltered 108 women, 78 children and three men with six children. A total of 5,915 bed nights were used. During that time 1,957 sessions of counseling took place, 274 people dropped in seeking help, 113 temporary restraining orders were issued for women and 11 for men. Emergency transportation was provided for 94 people. The percentage by race of victims of domestic violence is as follows: 54 percent white, 13 percent American Indian, 12 percent Hispanic, 10 percent black, 5 percent bi-racial, 1 percent Asian and 1 percent Pacific Islander.
Of those victims, 12 were between the ages of 13 and 17, 70 were 18 to 25, 132 were 26 to 40, 84 were 41 to 60 and one person was older than 61 years old. Also, 62 of the victims have physical or mental disabilities, according to statistics provided by Rae Eby-Carl of Lake Family Resource Center.
Gloria Flaherty of Lake Family Resource Center points out that the state has eliminated all of its funding for domestic violence shelters. But, she and the rest of the staff are working painstakingly on the Freedom House in Kelseyville. “We will not close,” Flaherty said. She said they desperately need volunteers though.
For more information contact Gloria Flaherty or Rae Eby-Carl at the Lake Family Resource Center, now located at 5350 Main St. in Kelseyville. Phone: 279-0563, e-mail: gloriaf@lakefrc.org or raee@lakefrc.org.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Mandy Feder is the Record-Bee news editor. She can be reached at mandyfeder@yahoo.com or 263-5636 Ext. 32.
