A man in Portland, Ore. careened into a blind man on the sidewalk and drove away. He had a blood-alcohol level of 0.30 percent, nearly four times the legal intoxication threshold. A group of people followed him and held him until police arrived.
Norman Larkin, 51, suffered a broken pelvis and broken legs when the drunk driver”s car jumped onto the concrete and pinned Larkin to a utility pole. A former bank vice president, Jack Alvord, 61, pleaded guilty to driving drunk among other charges.
As horrific as it was, Larkin now calls Alvord a good friend. Why? “It was all my fault,” Alvord said.
Following the crash, Alvord booked himself into a 30-day residential treatment center. He insisted his insurance company settle with his victim for $1.25 million. He told the media that once he was done serving his 22-month prison sentence he would sit beside Larkin and show others the consequences of drunk driving. He dedicated his life to helping others, in every way possible.
It”s about responsibility.
Alvord stepped up to the plate. His painful realization made him a better man.
It”s about forgiveness too.
Larkin was angry at first, but he forgave Alvord.
True, sometimes we all get a raw deal.
And, no, life isn”t fair.
We all get at our share of crap. It”s what we do with it that matters. You can pack it around in a huge sack and let it accumulate, weigh you down and really, it stinks.
Or plant a garden and use it as fertilizer, which results in growth.
Do you know who you help when you forgive?
Yourself.
That”s not me preaching, it”s documented that forgiveness heals, not just emotionally, but physically as well.
Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel, renowned Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh, best-selling authors Thomas Moore and Marianne Williamson, among others explore challenges and reveal how forgiveness transforms lives in a documentary called “The Power of Forgiveness.” It”s an exploration of research on the psychological and physical effects of forgiveness. It features stories about the Amish, the Sept. 11 tragedy and peace-building in Northern Ireland.
Duke University Medical Center conducted a study that concluded “people who forgave had fewer overall physical aches and pain, less anxiety and less anger. Back pain and headaches were significantly improved.”
A phone call to the Record-Bee newsroom brought this to my mind.
A man told me that he was the cousin of a victim in a fatal drunk driving collision. I fully anticipated him unloading anger and despair. I would have listened and I wouldn”t have blamed him. We printed an article about the crash. It was terribly sad.
Instead he said, “That could have been me driving that car that killed my cousin.” He told me that over the course of the last 20 years he had gotten two DUIs and driven more times than he could count or remember while he was drunk.
He admitted that it was difficult to quit drinking, but he was determined. He wanted to contact the drunk driver and express his forgiveness. He was sure that the driver was suffering too.
When the time for grieving passes and anger consumes, it”s an opportunity to learn through the hurt and find out just who we are in the face of adversity.
“These times are so uncertain. There”s a yearning undefined and people filled with rage. We all need a little tenderness. How can love survive in such a graceless age? The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness, they”re the very things, we kill I guess. Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms ? But I think it”s about forgiveness, forgiveness.” ? Don Henley
Mandy Feder is the Record-Bee news editor. She can be reached at mandyfeder@yahoo.com or 263-5636 Ext. 32.
