Publisher Gary Dickson recently wrote about a Virginia man who may get a year in the clink for parading stark-naked in his kitchen with undraped windows and visibility from the street. Was that indecent exposure? I submit that Gary, a youngish man, is unqualified to judge decency in matters of exposure and sex due to his age and occupation.
Young men, especially newsmen, are notable phonies about their attitudes regarding body exposure and sex. During the past few years we”ve seen a rash of gorgeous young school teachers shacking up with 14-year old boys. Newsmen have almost universally asserted their belief that these beautiful, sexy teachers should go to prison for child molestation. They lie. What they really think is this: “Where were these teachers when I was 14?” That”s what I think, too.
Recently I saw my 79-year-old body in the mirror as I exited the shower. I was alone and the windows were well-draped. Nevertheless, what I saw was indecent exposure.
The second most awful case of indecent exposure I ever witnessed involved my fourth grade teacher, Miss Pournier, (pronounced porn yay! ? well, it was Louisiana). She was a known monster; students dreaded completing third grade and facing her. One day, furious at some trivial student transgression, she slammed down her pointer with a crack like thunder and stormed out of the classroom. We watched in delighted horror as Miss Pournier left her hair hanging on the Christmas decorations in the door; she was bald as an egg. She returned after a few steps, ignored 30 open mouths and left us to a substitute teacher for three days.
Revenge was sweet and fourth graders can be cruel; it took an hour for the principal to bring order. Fourth graders can also be kind: One girl said, “I feel sorry for her” ? and ruined our vengeful glee. Then came a Christmas miracle: With her terrible secret exposed, Miss Pournier threw away her wig and returned to teach with her head au naturel. She became a sweetheart of a teacher who we began to recognize as a natural beauty now that her scowl was gone. In World War II she married an Army captain and left us in tears, cheers and love. Hers was decent exposure after all.
Randy Ridgel is a retired resident of Kelseyville, active in area history and politics.
