This season I”m sure thousands of Lake County residents find themselves in the same boat as me ? unable to buy the gifts they want to for friends and family. Luckily, I can still pay my phone bill and buy food and enough gas to visit the people I love.
The best gift one can give to a close friend or family member is support. Calling, visiting and asking about the issues that are surely eating away at people makes a bigger difference than a Wii video game or a pretty necklace.
As someone who makes a living off communicating with people, I think people don”t know when to ask questions and when to shut up.
People don”t tell you they have a medical problem or a secret from their past because they don”t want to talk about it. Ask. They want to talk about it even if they”re a bit resistant.
Of course, I don”t ask every random who told me a shark tale about their issues nor do I want every friend and acquaintance to know my problems. But best friends and family members should share their troubles.
When I”m freaking out, I call one of my friends or a family member and I talk and cry. Even though my problems aren”t solved, I feel better.
Everyone could feel a little better around the holidays if they just talk to each other.
Also many times people ask a good question, there”s an awkward silence and the questioner asks something else. If one pays attention, he or she will notice the person was usually thinking of an answer not begrudging responding. If one lets his or her friend or family answer he or she may learn something.
Merriam-Webster Medical Dictionary defines psychotherapy as the “treatment of mental or emotional disorder or maladjustment by psychological means especially involving verbal communication, as in psychoanalysis, nondirective psychotherapy, reeducation, or hypnosis.”
I”m no therapist, but according to the American Psychiatric Association, psychotherapy can treat a wide range of psychiatric illnesses.
Of course, someone with a psychiatric illness should seek professional help, but caring friends and family can help push people with anxiety or depression to seek aid. And by talking out problems with reasonable friends and family, people may relax and let go of their worries.
Instead of a list of gifts, I encourage people to make a list of friends, as I have, to call and have an hour-long discussion about their lives.
I”m not advocating giving hugs to strangers or singing “Kumbaya” in the streets. But what does one have in the world if not values, friends and family one sticks up for.
“The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?” ? Henry David Thoreau
Katy Sweeny is a staff reporter for the Record-Bee. She can be reached at ksweeny@record-bee.com or 263-5636, ext. 37.
