When I was a kid, I thought I would have my life put together at 25, not that I would be married, own a house and have kids and a pet but that I would have fewer seemingly young people problems and I would act more like an adult.
But as it turns out, acting like a responsible adult still doesn”t yet fit for me and I”ll take my problems over working through marriage and worrying about children any day. And I”m not the only one.
A growing body of research shows that the real Peter Pans are not the baby boomers but the following generations that by choice or circumstance aren”t as independent in their 20s, the New York Times reported.
“People between 20 and 34 are taking longer to finish their educations, establish themselves in careers, marry, have children and become financially independent, said Frank F. Furstenberg, who leads the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood, a team of scholars who have been studying this transformation,” according to the article.
“Marriage and parenthood ? once seen as prerequisites for adulthood ? are now viewed more as lifestyle choices, according to a new report released by Princeton University and the Brookings Institution.
“The stretched-out walk to independence is rooted in social and economic shifts that started in the 1970s, including a change from a manufacturing to a service-based economy that sent many more people to college and the women”s movement, which opened up educational and professional opportunities.
“Women account for more than half of college students and nearly half of the work force, which in turn has delayed motherhood and marriage.
“For the first time, a majority of mothers, 54 percent, have a college education, up from 41 percent in 1990. ?That is a huge change,” Andrew J. Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University, said.
“The median age for a first marriage was 23 in 1980; now it is 27 for men and 26 for women, the highest on record. A recent report by the Pew Research Center found that in the past two decades, a broad trend toward delaying motherhood that stretches across all races and ethnic and income groups has also taken hold.”
All of this data reflects among my friends, who probably wouldn”t be a good sample pool because I met almost all of them in college. However, only one of my close friends is married, two are pregnant and a few are engaged. They got engaged at 25 or 26, not straight out of high school or college.
I think canoodling into your 20s and 30s is a good thing if it keeps people from doing so in a marriage. Some of the jumpstarters will undoubtedly get lucky and live a happy life having started marriage and parenthood at a young age. But it”s not for many of us 20-somethings.
Being steeped in the need to get a college education, have a great career and find the perfect mate have left many of us in Never Never Land, at least for the time being.
So, what”s wrong with getting an education and waiting though it may go against national surveys of what Americans should be doing in their early 20s? It puts a strain on our parents and the education system.
I still lean on my parents for support and a number of my friends went back to school for master”s degrees. But independence has to start some day.
As long as we Peter Pans don”t miss great opportunities, hurt anyone or take advantage, I say sprinkle on the fairy dust.
Katy Sweeny is a staff reporter for the Record-Bee. She can be reached at kdsweeny@gmail.com or 263-5635, ext. 37.
