During the bustle of helping to prepare for a wedding with a garden reception three weeks ago in England, I met many of the bride”s and groom”s friends and family. If I didn”t get a kiss on the cheek at hello, I certainly got one at goodbyes. From sisters, grandparents and stepfather”s friends, I got and gave cheek kisses.
While talking to one of the mothers at close range I tried to tell myself that Europeans speak closer to each other and that this woman was not invading my bubble. But while I didn”t step back, I”m pretty sure I leaned backward.
Though I lived in Spain for a year three years ago, I realized while in England this month that I had scooted back into American interpersonal culture.
Americans stand a yard apart and shake hands at introductions. Once I got into the swing of kissing at greetings, it felt like there was an ocean between when I jumped back into handshakes.
Not only do Europeans kiss new friends and old, they bump into each other, whether they”re familiar or strangers.
Three years ago when I was in a grocery store line in Granada, Spain buying some supplies for dinner, a woman actually pushed her cart up against me multiple times. This was not an oversight on her part. I was infuriated. But I realized she wasn”t trying to be rude, people actually touch each other in line in Europe. By closing my eyes, breathing deeply and telling myself to calm down, I bought my groceries without screaming, snarling or even throwing a dirty look at the woman.
European bumping is nothing like the rage and closeness of a concert, where you”re smushed up next to everyone and end up wearing some random”s body glitter that you didn”t apply yourself. Concerts might be one of the few venues in America where people can touch each other without getting slapped or yelled at. However, beware of elbows.
Europeans bump into each other in line, on the street and just about anywhere they stand or walk. It”s normal to them, they don”t have a lot of space.
In the United States, except for in large cities, we have nothing but space.
The day I came back from Spain, before even noticing my nose piercing my mom said she was surprised by how frequently I bumped into her, in the airport, in the parking lot and at home.
I had soaked in the closeness of the Europeans.
While Americans might not readily show affection with hugs and kisses, sometimes we”re quicker to say it.
One of the first nights my American friends and I spent with my English friend, Luce, in Spain, the future maid of honor of California told the Brit she loved her. And we continued to tell Luce, almost daily, how much we loved her. At the time she hadn”t told one of her best friends yet.
So while my study is quite small, I think we can learn from each other across the pond. We could show affection with kisses and words and avoid running into each other while not becoming enraged by an accidental bump.
Though I may admire Europeans for their greetings, I don”t plan on pioneering the effort myself.
Just don”t try to kiss me next time you see me.
Katy Sweeny is a staff reporter for the Record-Bee. She can be reached at kdsweeny@gmail.com or 263-5636, ext. 37.
