By Mandy Feder
A pleasant conversation with some law enforcement personnel revealed some fascinating facts.
Crying doesn”t usually get a person out of a ticket, nor does claims of needing to go to the bathroom. Arguing usually talks your way right into a ticket, I was told.
Apparently honesty is the best policy.
I have seen the red and blue in my rearview mirror three times in my driving career.
In the interest of full disclosure, here”s my story:
The first time I was 24, driving from Tennessee to Washington with my toddler, Nicole.
The quintessential Missouri state trooper donned a white cowboy hat tipped over his Ray Ban sunglasses and black boots that were so shiny that I could see my own reflection as I hung my head.
“I”ve never had a ticket for anything before,” I said.
He didn”t look up as he wrote. He simply replied “Now you do. Slow down.”
I took his advice and I did slow down for a really long time.
Fast forward to age 31. I was headed to work. It was a sunny day and I was singing along to Joey Ramone”s rendition of “Wonderful World” on my tape deck. I saw the flashing lights behind me. I thought the lights were for someone else, not me. I wasn”t doing anything wrong.
I looked at the speedometer and realized I was going 36 mph in a 25.
Oops.
The police officer asked if I was in a hurry. I told him I was not. I just wasn”t paying attention, I said.
He closed one eye and tilted his head to look at my bumper sticker that read, “Mean people suck.”
He informed me that he would be one of those “mean people who suck.”
I actually laughed and told him he was not and assured him that I realized he was just doing his job.
I said I was probably guilty of speeding at other times during the course of my years behind the wheel and think of all the times that I didn”t get a ticket. Then we both laughed and shook hands as he handed the citation to me.
That was my last speeding ticket, but not the last time I was pulled over.
The following incident is proof, in my book, that honesty and kind manners will save you from getting a ticket. I truly deserved one.
I was driving to Portland, Ore. in my white 1983 Jaguar to meet up with my sister-in-law Amy for a Bruce Springsteen concert.
To tell you that I loved that car would be a vast understatement.
It rode like a dream, took corners effortlessly and it was the last year that Jaguar made that curvy style. With the dual tanks, I didn”t have to stop for gas all the way to my destination.
Once again, the sun was shining and I was singing, this time to Springsteen”s “Johnny 99” or “Nebraska.” That part is a bit foggy.
The music was turned up pretty loud and I was surprised when I heard the siren.
When I pulled over the Oregon State Police officer asked, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” I asked if I was speeding. He nodded to indicate “yes.” He told me I was going about 90 mph when I passed him.
“What? No way!” I said, “I passed you?” I placed my hand over my mouth. I told him I was so sorry.
That was when he told me he had the same kind of car. He said he caught himself speeding all the time. “You just don”t feel it. It drives so smooth,” he said.
We talked for a few minutes about the finer features of our British rides and also how great the “Boss” is in concert. He sent me on my way without a ticket, but with a gentle reminder to look at the speedometer often.
Now I watch my speed, though the Jag is long gone.
One of my friends, who was recently cited for speeding, told me that she figured out the amount of time she saved by speeding to work. It was a mere five minutes — not worth it.
Remember, law enforcement has a job to do and it isn”t easy.
By my calculations, if you are forthcoming and treat the law enforcement professional with decency and respect when you”re pulled over, one out of three times, you may not get a ticket.
Mandy Feder is the Record-Bee managing editor. She can be reached at mandyfeder@yahoo.com or 263-5636 ext. 32.
