Fade in. The camera focuses on a couple in a dimly-lit room with plush furniture and expensive paneling.
Nancy: “Bob, we can”t go on meeting like this. What if people found out?”
Bob” “I have to maintain my public image too. No one will find out.”
Nancy: “I saw my therapist yesterday. He recommended a good credit counselor. I think between the two of them I can get my shop-a-holic urges under control.”
Bob: “Soon I hope. We”re just about maxed-out. I have my urges too, you know.”
Oh wait. Sorry. I was working on a script for a daytime drama and got my files mixed up with my story on Washington politics. What the heck-same story. So Bob and Nancy work out a deal in the back room, then go on TV and let the public think they”re feuding. The public is glued to the TV for weeks, hanging on the daily drama. Ratings soar, ad dollars pour in and the public eats it all up with a spoon. Last minute deal at the 11th hour.
Tune in next week for another gripping episode of “As the Stomach Turns.”
I was just thinking: isn”t the word congress the opposite of the word progress? And some of the pros became cons until the end of their sentence.
This reminds me of the story I read many years ago about the newspaper article that said that half the members of Congress were crooks. There was such an uproar and so many irate calls to the newspaper that the next day the publisher printed the following retraction: “Half the members of Congress are not crooks.”
Got a light?
Last week I had to go to the bay area and while I was there, I asked a few protesters, “How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?” Here are some of the responses I got:
Who cares? We don”t have any electricity.
Anyway man, I don”t want to buy light bulbs made by some big corporation.
Change! Right on!
I”d rather use a torch.
How”d you like me to change your face?
That reminds me, can you spare some change?
Name-calling expletive!
I don”t know, but just like light bulbs we”re all getting screwed by those fat cats on Wall Street.
GE makes light bulbs and didn”t pay any taxes, so that”s why I”m here.
I just got here today. I wish some of these people would change their clothes and take a shower.
Hey dude. I”ve got one for you. What”s brown and sits on the sidewalk? OWS” last movement. Well at least one of them had a sense of humor.
Hey man, I heard one too. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the bulb has to want to change, obviously a pothead. That was in a Cheech and Chong movie.
Oh yeah, you got a light? I”m out of matches.
Well, I never did find out how many protesters it would take to change a light bulb.
I couldn”t really find out why most of them were there in the first place. Some of them were having a smashing good time and some of them were having a good time smashing stuff.
Bill Woodruff is a longtime Lake County resident and former business owner.
