Thank you to Gary Dickson for a much-needed commentary. As a nurse for more than 40 years, I”ve participated in the care of numerous terminally-ill individuals, both in and out of hospital settings. With our current medical system some unfortunate folks are forced, in my opinion, to end their own lives, sometimes brutally. Their only alternative is to continue on, existing throughout each day and each night with unrelenting pain. Requiring ever-increasing levels of the most potent narcotics; their relief can be only intermittent, at best. Any measure of control or quality, has gone from their lives. Exhausted loved ones also must bear the physical and emotional burdens of a prolonged, painful death. They may experience a profound sense of guilt, and/or anger at having but one grim option, to endure an ongoing bedside vigil, helpless to lessen their loved one”s suffering. Fortunately, many terminally-ill, in our hospitals and in other settings, are able to experience ?a so-called “good death” with some measure of control and dignity still intact.
It”s a much better way to die. I”ve come to believe that those endlessly suffering individuals, having no hope of any positive intervention, are practically enabled toward suicide. Also I believe that at the moment one begins to actually carry out his own demise, rational thoughts, re: a potentially gruesome aftermath, are no longer possible. One could focus only on getting “it” done, however grim their chosen method. I doubt that such a moment allows for thoughtful or rational thinking at all.
Your moving examples of three human tragedies spoke to those cruel, physical aftermaths caused by those particular suicides. True, the physical carnage, associated with guns, opened veins, etc., can and does add another painful layer of grief for those left behind. I agree that there are situations that should provide an individual with an opportunity to die with some level of peace and dignity. There are countries with laws in place that currently do so. (i.e.The Netherlands) There, at least any physical aftermath is minimal and the individual is provided a measure of control and choice in determining how and when his life will end.
In such instances the individual may actually make his end of life plan well in advance of experiencing cruel and unnecessary agony.
This subject is one many nurses understandably feel strongly about. From my own perspective, doctors are not prepared for, or comfortable with, losing patients. I have allowed my pets more humanity than many hospital patients receive. Assisted death is an appropriate option for more than just a few terminally-ill folks, as we “Boomers” age, the issue will grow as our death rate grows. The topic will logically have to be dealt with more often. We can only hope for more humane, rational decisions and try to affect them. I”ll end by sharing a personal experience, hoping to enlighten those who would disagree with our shared premise, Mr. Dickson.
A friend and neighbor suffered the endless agonies of ALS (Lou Gehrig”s Disease) for almost two grueling years. Prior his illness he led an active, productive life, despite his advanced age. The narrow confines of his bed had become only a small part of his torturous existence. He bravely waited for the painful wasting process of his ailment to eventually prevent the muscles of his chest to allow for breathing. His life was still increasing in quantity while the quality gradually and sadly, disappeared.
During this time, my two young boys were summoned to visit him, so he could admire their Halloween costumes ? an annual ritual we all enjoyed..
I listened while the boys laughed with their grandpa-like, special friend. They reminisced and he imparted bits of wisdom, as always. We all took turns hugging and the boys were told how much he enjoyed their friendship. He was animated and only showed fatigue during our parting words.
The next morning, we learned he died during the night. I recalled the full bottle of sleeping pills, visible during our last visit, on his bedside table. I later consoled his wife, who confirmed my suspicions he took those pills purposely ending his life. He discussed his plan with his wife. She vehemently objected initially, but later realized that she loved and understood her husband. She was able to give him one last, powerful gift. His doctor provided him with a prescription for sleeping pills. George”s wife was not aware of any discussion regarding a suicide plan with his doctor. In my heart I am confident that our last visit allowed him an opportunity to bid us a personal and loving farewell. He died as he lived, with kindness, grace and on his own terms. He experienced a good death and he was deserving of nothing less.
Colleen Beardsley
Cobb
