I enjoy personifying the various gizmos and gadgets in my life.
I get a kick out of seeing them as a living organism and then examining the relationship I have with each particular gadget.
Over the last two years, I”ve witnessed one of those relationships turn from blissful to a sort of purgatory.
I”m talking about my relationship with my cellphone.
I believe the two-year contracts we all sign up for are a perfect mirror of a romantic relationship that goes terribly wrong at some point and then we begin counting the days until we can leave it.
Think about it.
That initial period with your new cellphone is like the first few weeks and/or months of a good relationship. You can hardly leave it alone, constantly paying attention to it and enjoying all the new things it can do that your old one couldn”t.
It”s that new love, the one that makes all the old ones feel inadequate.
With time, your cellphone and you settle into a happy routine. You can check the latest scores, news and weather, download the newest apps and talk to all your friends while going about your day.
It”s that comfortable phase where life and your loving relationship intermingle harmoniously.
Thus far, both relationships mirror the pattern for a healthy, loving relationship. But, for the cellphone relationship, that loving feeling isn”t meant to last.
Somewhere around the one-year mark of your contract/relationship, the cellphone begins to show its age. Its processing speed begins to slow down when doing nearly anything. Its storage memory begins to get full, forcing you to deal with the contents of your phone by either moving files around or removing files and apps to allow the phone to function.
This is when you and your significant other begin to argue, changing the dynamic of your relationship from a loving one to one that is tumultuous.
As the date marked for you to be able to upgrade to a new phone gets closer, the relationship with your phone grows ever more troublesome. The phone might freeze up on occasion, growing more frequent as its processing speed continues to slow down. You constantly have to charge the phone because its battery life has dwindled to a mere few hours of use between charges.
I can only hope most of us haven”t reached this stage in a romantic relationship. This would be when you and your significant other are constantly arguing; perhaps even taking verbal jabs at the other at any opportunity. Any sense of love is gone and you are wondering why you are still in the relationship, perhaps holding onto the happier times.
It”s a truly ugly stage in a romantic relationship and it isn”t much better with a cellphone.
Until recently, I had been in this phase with my cellphone for nearly a year and a half.
I renewed my contract and purchased the original Motorola Droid on Dec. 30, 2009. I was in love with that phone for most of 2010.
But somewhere around the arrival of 2011, my phone”s processing speed began to slow, as did the performance of the battery. I tried to alleviate this by purchasing a new battery. You know, trying to solve a problem in the relationship.
It didn”t do any good. The new battery”s performance began to suffer within six months, leaving me to look forward to my upgrade date, which was a few long months ahead.
And then, when my upgrade date in October arrived, I lacked the funds to purchase a new device. So, I languished with my Droid for what turned into six more months of frustration.
I finally purchased a new phone this last weekend. All is seemingly right with the world and I am quickly falling in love with my new HTC Rezound.
I know that I am overdramatizing this relationship scenario/comparison but it”s something I noticed and found humorous.
Whatever the case, I”m sure many folks personify their gadgets, and I see nothing wrong with that.
Kevin N. Hume can be reached at kevin.n.hume@gmail.com or call directly 263-5636 ext. 14. Follow on Twitter: @KevinNHume.
