Two Kentucky Derby winners in a row if you”re keeping count. There was Animal Kingdom at 20-1 odds in 2011 and I”ll Have Another at 15-1 on Saturday during the 138th Run for the Roses at Churchill Downs.
As I listened to the homestretch call on Saturday I marveled in the wonderment that I would be receiving back a whole bunch of presidential flash cards from The Dawg after his Herculean task of picking this year”s Derby winner from of a wide-open field of horses. If you don”t believe it, consider that one of the favorites, Bodemeister, went off at 6-1 (and finished second).
The Dawg came through, pure and simple. I mean, just look at the so-called “experts” who follow the ponies for a living. Not one of them — not one — picked the Derby winner the last two years like The Dawg.
I called him moments after I”ll Have Another”s victory on Saturday and was saddened to only get his message machine: “Yeah, this is The Dawg. I am king of the world. Forget about DiCaprio. That guy took forever to drown in 32-degree water. The Dawg would have kept the Titanic from sinking. Two Derby winners in a row. Two! And if you didn”t bet on the race after I gave you the winner, you”re dumber than most sports writers. To quote some of my favorite athletes, check the scoreboard, baby!”
I didn”t feel like leaving a message, so I went back and watched the race replay about two dozen times. I watched how jockey Mario Gutierrez, starting way on the outside at No. 19, quickly guided his horse in behind a group of front-runners and essentially kept him there until it was time to make his move. And move he did, right past Bodemeister, who had spent himself way too soon.
Of course, then I checked the Derby payouts online and found out what my take would be. I”ve still got a smile some 48 hours later.
Later that night, The Dawg got in touch with me.
“Hey, I”ve got your money and I expect a grade-A, No. 1 write-up in your rag on Tuesday, got me?” All I could say was, “Yes, Mr. Dawg. Anything you want, you got. Have I ever told you you”re the best?”
The Dawg wasn”t buying it, of course. He has a mind like a steel trap, you know.
“Yeah, I remember you ripping me those years when I didn”t do so well. I remember the insults, the snickering behind my back. You cut me right to the bone, man.”
And yet The Dawg, with dogged determination, held true to his path. He flung the insults aside and continued picking Derby winners for the Record-Bee.
“Not that you really deserve it, but I do have a place in my heart for 50ish, graying sports writers who think Cloverfield is actually a good movie,” The Dawg snorted.
I asked The Dawg the secret to his newfound success of picking back-to-back Derby winners.
“Don”t even go there,” The Dawg said. “It”s too complicated for the human mind to master. I once tried to explain it to Einstein, but he just sat there with a dull look on his face.”
The Dawg”s formula, apparently, is more complicated than E = mc”. It certainly pays better, anyway.
While my winnings were a mere pittance to The Dawg, who is busy today shopping for islands in the Caribbean (complete with casino), it was still nice to see money come back instead of a one-way trip to the betting window.
“There you go again with the negativity. You sports guys don”t have a positive bone in your body. Is it an inherited trait or are you just a mutant race?”
That”s a matter of long-standing debate.
I asked The Dawg if he could duplicate his success in the upcoming Preakness or maybe even the Belmont Stakes.
“Not a chance, buddy,” The Dawg said. “I feed you the Derby winner and that”s all the charity work I do. I”m not into those two races anyway. They”re small potatoes when compared to the big-time Derby.”
The Dawg did personally deliver my winnings to me on Monday afternoon. He pulled up in his chauffeured Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and presented said windfall in a small manila envelope, like the one Morgan Freeman opened up while sitting by the rock wall under the oak tree in the Shawshank Redemption.
“Just don”t get the idea I”m going to be buying a resort near Zihuatanejo where you can come live,” The Dawg growled. “This isn”t Hollywood and I”m not Tim Robbins.”
When I asked The Dawg how the members of his Dawg Pound, all of whom picked different Derby winners, were handling another losing year, he just laughed out loud. “You can”t teach an old Dawg Pound new tricks.”
Looking ahead to next year”s Derby, The Dawg said he wasn”t sure if would be back to predict another winner for the Record-Bee and its readers. I”m considering my options and besides, the offers are starting to pour in for my services. You might see me again, you might not.”
And with that, The Dawg”s tail slipped into the Rolls and rumbled down the road, perhaps to a nearby casino, perhaps to a waiting Lear jet at Sacramento International Airport.
“Me and the little lady might buzz over to Monaco to see how the royal family is doing,” The Dawg said.
Say what you want about The Dawg, he”s got style.
