The sixth point of the Eight-Point Program of Passage Meditation is putting others first. Sanskrit has a precise term for self-will: ahamkara.
Ahamkara is the force that continuously creates our sense of “I” and its close companions “me,” “my” and “mine.” Independent of any situation, something deep within us, as persistent as our heartbeat, constantly renews our sense of separateness. Whether we are awake or asleep, our ego goes on, though we are more conscious of it at some times than others. Since it is always there, we think of it as our identity, and we protect it as a miser does his gold. Not only that, we expect others to treasure it too. It is only by giving up this attempt to put ourselves first that we can find what we really want – peace of mind, lasting relationships and love.
Love
Eradicating self-will is the means by which we realize the supreme goal of the spiritual life. True, if we set out to do it, we may find it difficult and uncomfortable for a long while, but we experience freedom when that monstrous impediment we call the ego is finally removed. Saint Paul, in his First Letter to the Corinthians stated: “Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. Love keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over other”s sins, but delights in the truth. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope and its endurance. Love will never come to an end.”
That is a love that is worthy of us. That is a love powerful enough to dissolve our self-will.
Everyone can learn to love.
We can begin the work of eradicating our self-will. The easiest and most natural way is by putting the welfare of those around us first. In a sense, it comes down to attention. When we are preoccupied with ourselves – our thoughts, our desires, our preferences – we cannot help becoming insensitive to others” needs. When we turn away from ourselves, even if only a little, we begin to see what is really best for those we love. Any time we refrain from self-centered ways of acting, speaking and even thinking, we are putting others first.
Patience
In my experience, love can be fairly well summed up in a single word: patience. When you are patient, an unkind word or thoughtless act will not agitate you. You will not want to run away or retaliate. Your support will hold steady, based as it is on deep respect and the knowledge that the Lord lives in the other person. If we want relationships that deepen with the passage of time, relationships that help us grow; we have to remain loyal through the bad times as well as the good, to accept the differences as well as the agreements. This is what we learn to do when we try patiently to put the other person first.
Passage Meditation Clearlake Satsang (fellowship) meets every Thursday from 6:30 – 8 p.m. Contact Shields at 350-2613 or steve@steveashields.com for meeting place and information.
