Instead of fretting over women having abortions, I think concerned people need to come up with practical ways to help women who they might persuade to keep their babies. Such people may provide layettes and other necessities to pregnant women but then disappear when the baby is born and the real world intrudes on the dream of a perfect world.
These women need realistic help. How much do you really care about this child? ?
How about starting an organization. Use your imagination.
You might chose a parent and provide a needed monthly asset until the baby turns 18, or for a lifetime if the child is never able to provide for itself. Set up a trust fund in case of permanent need. Form groups that jointly help with the expenses of children, forever if necessary.
Many women have abortions because there are inheritable family diseases and they are unable to afford the testing to see if the embryo has these, sometimes deadly, abnormalities.
Other parents are aware of genetic defects and try hard to avoid pregnancy but fail. They postpone pregnancies in the hope that a cure will be found for the problems they may pass on, and need to wait as long as possible for medical breakthroughs.
They may carry genes that doom their child to problems such as such as Huntington”s Chorea, that may be detected too late to avoid pregnancy.
Can you please, please form a group that pays for genetic testing? The mother may have cognitive or physical problems that preclude childcare. The thought of giving up her child to total strangers may be unbearable or she my fear the adoptive parents will raise in a way that is unacceptable to her.
Your big heart may compel you to devote large amounts of time to help her. Women have abortions for many valid reasons. Most haven”t completed their education and will never be able to complete it after the pregnancy. This curtails life choices and often dooms them to a life of poverty. They may be too young to shoulder the responsibility or be too poor to give the child any advantages in life such as decent clothes (think bullied child).
If the child is the result of rape or incest the idea of raising the man”s child may be repugnant to her.
Lifelong abuse or knowing you were unwanted usually produces a resentful, angry child with little self- confidence. Look at the early lives of many of our worst criminals.
The mother may be in an already shaky relationship that now turns abusive, unmarried, or know the value of waiting for a child with two committed parents. The pregnancy can be difficult and cause the loss of a good, irreplaceable job.
She may have serious medical problems, or totally overwhelming responsibilities to parents or children.
Most women who abort have many reasons for doing so. Lack of access to abortion keeps far too many women in the position of second class citizens for decades or their whole lifetimes. Take it from someone who has seen far too many lives severely disrupted and has personal experience with much of what I”ve written.
I have walked in these shoes, and had the great misfortune to be pregnant before abortion was legalized. We had learned, after having two already affected children, that my husband and I carried genes which, in combination, were extremely debilitating. The long term, cumulative effects of more offspring were devastating and permanent.
I”m deeply saddened that unborn babies have to die. But people like me would literally fight to the death to keep abortion legal and protect other vulnerable women and families. It”s really that important. And the alternative is so much worse.
Esther Lyons
Clearlake Oaks
