While Harry is in the Wish Machine, he marries skinny Griselda instead of the beautiful (now fat) Rosie. Six months later (subjective time in the Wish Machine) he finds a disturbing note on the cupboard door. It is from Griselda … and he is suspicious.
“I didn’t think much of it at the time. That was not the first time she left by herself to visit her sister. Then it started happenin’ almost every two or three days. I still didn’t mind as long as she came home to me.”
“About a month later I got a phone call. It was from Rosie of all people. I was surprised to hear from her because we had lost touch after I decided not to marry her.
“Hi, Rosie,” I said.
Sometimes I missed her. I tried to be friendly. She sounded happy. It wasn’t that she was really so happy though; Rosie called to needle me.
“Go to Griselda’s sister’s house, Harry. I bet you won’t find your lovey-dovey there,” she said. “Then when you find out she’s not at her sisters try going to the Hearts Afire Motel on 12th Street. Go to room 17. You will find her there alright.”
“What do you mean, Rosie,” I asked. “What are you talking about?”
“She gave me a big horselaugh and hung up on me. I had to find out what was goin’ on. I ran down the street to the next block where her sister lived. The house was dark. My heart was pumpin’ hard and I started to imagine all kinds of things. I went three blocks over to 12th Street and Camby Avenue where the Hearts Afire Motel is. I didn’t know what Rosie was been talking about. Something told me I wouldn’t like what I found.”
“When I went to room 17 the door was unlocked. I heard funny sounds inside. Like someone was giggling. I pushed the door open and barged right in.”
Harry’s eyes grew moist. His face became tragic. I have never seen a sadder man. His voice shook with repressed emotion.
“There on the bed was my Griselda. She was huggin’ and kissin’ Herbie Schweitzer that owns the delicatessen on Mulberry Street.”
He took another deep breath.
“The worse thing was what happened when she saw me. She said, real cool, ‘you had to catch us sooner or later, Harry. I love Herbie and he loves me. I want a divorce.’”
“I was so broke up I went crazy. I was ready to kill ‘em both.”
The fire in his eye died away.
“Lucky for them, that’s when I woke up back here.”
Harry’s heartbreak was genuine. In the minutes after I had shut off the recorder he continued to blubber over Griselda’s infidelity and his lost love. Finally, he stopped. He took another shaky breath. Then he heaved a huge sigh. His look was thoughtful and he smiled sheepishly.
“You know, Doc,” he said quietly, “This here is real, ain’t it. That other world, while I was in the machine, didn’t really happen to me … and it ain’t gonna happen. I’m still married to Rosie. I guess I made the best choice after all. Rosie loves me and I kinda like her big. Her love handles give me something solid to hold onto when we make love. What am I worrying about?”
Harry smiled weakly. He got up forgetting to ask for his check.
I caught up with him and gave him his check.
He said, grinning, “I’m hungry. I guess I’ll go home and help Rosie finish off the roast and potatoes and apple pie.”
Harry left happy at last. He made me feel better too.
Candella’s volunteers seemed to be on a food binge. His next volunteer, Homer Camoda, a janitor for the university, loves apple pie more than life itself. Homer’s obsession will be his undoing.
