“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” — Lisa M. Hayes
With more than 50,000 thoughts running through our heads in a day, how much attention do you really give to them all? Or even better, how much intention do you give your thoughts?
Many of us are shaped by our experiences. In a literal sense, our experiences create connections and pathways in our brains, which in turn affects how our mind works, which comes full circle to impact how we experience things.
Neuroplasticity is a term used to describe the brain’s ability to change and adapt as we create new neural pathways and build upon existing connections. However, our brains also follow patterns until they become habits. When we are intentional with our thoughts and actions, we have much more control over which patterns and habits we fall into.
How trauma trains the brain
When we experience traumatic events, our brain can become sensitized to emotions associated with trauma, such as anxiety or fear. The ability to process traumatic memories and emotions can be affected to the point that they remain in our short-term memory, disrupting our ability to digest these experiences and heal.
Trauma can lead us to function chronically under stress, out of fear that something bad is going to happen. You may find yourself often over thinking so you are prepared or protected to an extent that it causes you stress.
A recent traumatic experience can also light up the pathways in our brains that were created from past traumas, leading us to fall back into habits we may have worked hard to overcome.
The good news is we can retrain our brains. As mentioned before, the large amount of plasticity in our brains lends itself to change and adaptation. This usually happens subconsciously; however, we can use intention and mindfulness to create the patterns we want to evoke the feelings and experiences we desire.
Awareness around negative self talk
Many of us engage in negative self-talk more than we are aware of, whether or not we have experienced trauma. Psychologist, Dr. Elaine Ryan, uses the example of running late to work. When you are running late, do you acknowledge it and remain calm as you make your way to wherever you are going? Or do you fret and think things like, “I should have gone to bed earlier! I’m always late!”
Using stress as a response could likely be a result of habit due to a strong pattern in your brain. Think about other areas in your life. Are you often anxious or stressed? Do you have panic attacks? Do you use negative self talk? Even a thought like, “I should’ve dressed nicer for this event. Now I feel like I shouldn’t be here at all,” has a negative impact. You might be surprised to find that many of your thoughts are unintentionally negative.
The “erase and replace” method
In the same way that our brains become sensitized to negative emotions, we can create pathways to evoke positive emotions and experiences. When you experience a negative thought, try environmental wellness consultant and Lake County resident Susan Reed’s “erase and replace” strategy. Whenever you are having a negative thought, acknowledge it, and then reframe it with a positive statement.
Here is an example: You are feeling overwhelmed and think, “This is just too difficult, and I don’t think I can do it.” Erase and replace with a positive statement, such as “I am doing as much I can. I am going to try different strategies to make this work. I can overcome this.”
Remember that you are still acknowledging the way you feel when you use the “erase and replace” method. It is completely normal to experience negative emotions, and sweeping them under the rug will only cause more trouble. The key is to create strong positive habits that you can tap into when you are ready to heal.
It is perfectly normal to feel inauthentic when you replace with a positive statement. This is an instance when the saying, “fake it ‘til you make it” really comes to life. Each positive statement makes you a more positive person — whether you believe the statement or not. When you “fake” these positive statements, you are creating new neural pathways or building upon already existing ones. Eventually, when negative thoughts are outnumbered, you will be a happier, more positive person out of habit.
