Face it: The vast majority of Bay Area remains in shock over the election of Donald Trump. Voters who went overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton have trouble understanding why the rest of the country did not. In the stages of grief, we’re stuck on anger.
As the change of administrations rolls around Friday with pomp and circumstance in Washington, D.C., however, it’s worth thinking about the unanticipated beneficiaries of a Trump presidency.
And no, I don’t mean that I support Trump. The man is a bully. I worry for the nation’s future. But just like short-sellers prosper in a bad market, some people and institutions will thrive, often in unexpected ways. Let’s look at the list:
A) Jeff Bezos — Now that he’s making our movies and delivering our food, it hardly seems right that the Amazon.com founder should have even more power. But by buying the Washington Post in advance of Trump’s election, Bezos has placed himself in a critical position. Whatever the Cassandras say, Trump is good for journalists. He will be even better for the Post, which treats Trump the correct way — sarcastically.
B) Hairdressers — I don’t mean to say hairdressers were not present under the Obama administration. They were. But with the news that Melania Trump is planning a “glam room” for the White House, hairdressers have achieved a level of prestige even greater than when Warren Beatty starred in “Shampoo.” If they have a specialty in orange, they can count on four years of job security.
C) Ethics experts — It goes without saying that this hard-to-define specialty is approaching the dimensions of a Gold Rush. The average talking head who can sort out the conflicts in the Trump cabinet alone can be assured of air time for the next four years. If they can explain how son-in-law Jared Kushner got into Harvard, they move to the front.
D) Slovenian travel agents — Okay, those photos of a scantily-clad young Melania Trump in her homeland may have helped. In both tourism and industry, the small Alps-like country on the edge of Italy is seizing its moment. You can buy Slovenian honey with Melania’s image. And suddenly, people know that Lake Bled is not just another victim of a Trump tweet. Need I say more?
E) Folks who self-identify as deplorables: When Hillary Clinton charged that half of Trump’s supporters belonged in a basket of deplorables, she had to apologize. But there are people who shrug when they’re called racist, xenophobic, or sexist. Most of us have relatives like this. Sad as it is, their 15 minutes of fame is here.
F) Amtrak’s Acela Express — Often slammed by politicians, Amtrak will play an essential part in the next administration. After all, bureaucrats and cabinet secretaries have to find a way to get from Washington D.C. to the new White House, the Trump Tower in New York City.
G) The makers of Prozac — If you accept the idea that Trump’s presidency will cause a long and unrelenting depression in the Bay Area, you could do worse than examine the sales figures for Eli Lilly, the maker of the anti-depressant Prozac. Yes, there are serious side effects. But Democrats have to turn somewhere for solace.
H) People who Make Protest Placards: Yes, it’s a cottage industry. And there may not be a lot of money in it yet. But this is a growth field, particularly if Trump holds to his campaign promises. The companies that make glue, paint and white poster board should prosper.
There you have it: Cheer up, Bay Area. Maybe we won’t feel the direct benefits. But somebody we know will.
Scott Herhold is a Bay Area News Group columnist
