UPPER LAKE >> “Community,” “therapeutic,” “experience” and “bravery” were some of the words shared after a group families partook in what was a foreign and out-of-comfort-zone activity for many. The group of about 50 people was families and volunteers who had just helped each other ride horses across the fields in Saratoga Springs Resort. It wasn’t just a random, unplanned horse-ride, however. The group had just participated in equine-assisted therapy, an active part of the annual three-day Bereavement Camp, held by the Hospice of Services of Lake County on Tuesday.
“I did it! I just rode the horse for the third-time,” camper Nicole Day, 16, said as she took off the shoes she wore. Day had traded her flip-flops with 10-year camp volunteer Dolores Espinosa who let Day borrow more appropriate shoes for horse riding. With a hug and back in her shoes, Espinosa congratulated Day for her success at trying something new.
Besides defeating the nerves that came from riding a horse, Day and other campers were also learning to build trust. While one family member rode the horse that was walked by a professional, another member walked right by their side. Some held hands, and others took pictures of their little brother, or daughter riding with their hands extended out — a form of trust, according to Susie Salmina who has brought equine therapy to the camp for more than 10 years.
But why are families trying new things and building trust? The three-day camp aims to help cope with the loss of a loved one. According to Director of Bereavement Services at Hospice Linda Laing, Lake County has a high rate of deaths by suicide, homicides, and individuals that are on services with diseases that progress at different rates. She adds that Lake ranks three times higher than all 58 counties in the state when it comes to deaths from substance abuse. “As a result,” she said. “The County has had great, complicated loss and grief issues.”
In an effort to address these issues, Liang and the Bereavement Services at Hospice worked to create a one-of-a-kind family bereavement camp. In fact, it is the only bereavement camp in Northern California with a focus on family. The only other camp similar to Lake’s is in Southern California, but with a focus on children alone.
“We believe in the family model of healing,” said Liang. “And family is not always the typical nuclear family where there is a mom, father, sister, and brother. It could be just a grandmother raising the children, too.”
The program, now on its 17th annual camp, has been made possible thanks to profits from Hospice’s thrift shops, foundation grants, and private donations.
Equine therapy is not all campers have participated in. Day one and two of the camp included gathering around the resort’s main hall where families opened up about the person they lost and the circumstances that have followed. After sharing memories about their loved ones, campers had the chance to turn those memories into art and music. For example, families sat together and decorated posters with photos and words that highlighted strengths and values. The art projects aimed to honor and celebrate their loss. The families’ creations also helped focus each individual on his or her future as “different and yet enriched by the many gifts of the person who died.” Among one of the favorite activities, most popular with the children, was creating music through word play and rhythm. Percussionist Josh Robinson led a series of drum sessions. He encouraged participants to choose a word or group of words that brought them memories of the person they lost.
“The culminating part is ‘a message.’ This is like playing a message to their loved one. At first, it’s a cacophony of sounds, but later everybody entrains. It’s like a metaphor that everybody has a different story, but yet we have this common pull.” said Robinson.
With only through half of day two at the camp, families were seen laughing, socializing, and partaking in all the activities. Mother Leea Turner, who lost her mother, said she was happy to see her son Nathaniel Turner ride the horse and run around.
“My mother passed away unexpectedly in December,” Leea Turner said. “Nat-Nat (Nathaniel) has loved it so far, especially the horses. It’s like my mother is here because as a Native American, she loved horses and the hearing the drums really felt like she was present.”
Salmina, Liang and her 33 volunteers gathered under a large shady tree and called the families to join them and share the words they felt after riding the horses before breaking to lunch.
“This is important,” said Liang. “There’s a tremendous need in the County. This is to let them know that people care and they are not alone and it helps them build a bigger support system. We can’t wait for the third day.”
Today, volunteers and families will conclude in the early afternoon hours with a final gathering, sharing what they took away from the three-day camp and how they can apply the skills they learned in their lives and with those that are in need.
