I see bump stock sales went way up last week.
A lotta guys started buying them after both the NRA and Congress seemed to be OK with restrictions. I heard one guy in the gunstore say, “Congress is against them, that’s good enough for me! Put me down for three!”
He did not get any; the pipeline was dry.
Of course, when the NRA goes for restriction, that fella could bet it’s so the NRA can keep the stocks from being entirely outlawed, and so the restrictions will have an easy workaround and a date of expiration in the near future. But this fellow wasn’t thinking; he was too exercised by the enthusiasm he got from his Representatives.
Some of my worry-type liberal friends were saying that now they’re scared how many young white guys are really homicidal maniac/Neo-Nazis, buying these stocks they will use for indiscriminate killing. Well, I don’t think so. See, I’ve been around a lot of gun guys in a lot of rural areas in a lot of states — I’ve lived in at least 8 if you count Jeffersonia as a state and sleeping in a van as living. I talked to a bunch of ‘em this week and I can use my statistical abilities to tell you all about this national trend based on my carefully chosen sample size.
That is, I can tell you just how many stocks were bought by future mass murderer wannabes. It’s just a process of elimination.
Say there were about 8,000 bump stocks bought last week. I have no idea how many were actually bought, but for my statistics to work real numbers aren’t all that important, so let’s go with eight thousand. Now about 21 percent of my friends said they’d like to get one of those stocks before they were illegal, so they’d have one if they ever wanted one. That’s the same reason they’d buy a tool before the Sears store closed, and no guarantee they’d ever use the thing at all.
Forty-nine percent — almost half! — of my friends who wanted one figured they could sell it later at a profit. Those forty-niners are the true Americans, the capitalists. They don’t want to make or use anything for real, they just want more money for the sake of it. They not only won’t slaughter; they won’t even work if they can help it.
Another 28 percent weren’t sure why they bought one, since they didn’t own a gun they could put it on, but did admit to me they bought one. One percent were just hanging around the gun store and got caught up in the rush, like women fighting over the underwear at a Wal-Mart on Black Friday.
Extrapolating (guessing), that adds up to 99 percent, so no more than 1 percent of the bump stocks were bought by anyone who ever had any intention of actually USING one, or eight crazy guys.
I figure probably six of them want to brag that they own and use one, and show off at the local range. Of the two left, one is too dumb to get a plan together and the other is too talkative to get it done before he’s caught.
So only two real killers bought stocks, but they won’t probably get far. The REAL killers already have bump stocks.
Which, thinking about those capitalists again, makes me wonder. The NRA gets lots of money from the gun makers. If those capitalists wanted to make money without producing a useful product, why not encourage the kind of spending they got last week when the bump stock ban made the news? Heck, the stocks cost $20 or so to make and sell for about $200, and you can’t even use them except to fire real fast and pay last week’s take home for the bullets you use, plus they aren’t allowed on most public ranges so you have to pay for a place to shoot even!
I have to admit, it’s all-American behavior, but it makes me wonder.
