Superman is dead and the world is going to hell in a handbasket — at least that’s what “Justice League” would have us believe.
The forces of evil have free rein (a scene of skinhead types hassling people) and our heroes are disappearing (a newspaper shows photos of David Bowie, Prince — and Superman). To hammer it all home, terrorists, led by Michael McElhatton (Roose Bolton himself, for “Game of Thrones” fans), enter a bank and prepare to blow it up and the surrounding area.
As if all that weren’t terrible enough, the coming of Steppenwolf (voiced by Ciaran Hinds) is sussed out when Batman (Ben Affleck) captures one of the supervillain’s scouts, a parademon. Batman determines he can’t battle Steppenwolf alone and begins piecing together a team, starting with Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) and eventually adding Aquaman (Jason Momoa), Flash (Ezra Miller) and Cyborg (Ray Fisher).
Each superhero requires context, of course — particularly for Flash, Cyborg and Aquaman, less so for Batman and Wonder Woman, whose other movies are referenced — and a big chunk of “Justice League” is devoted to background information, most of which is delivered through draggy chunks of dialogue (monologues, really), flashbacks and visits to and from Flash’s and Cyborg’s respective fathers.
Superheroes have such major parental issues, don’t they? Flash’s father is in prison; Cyborg became what he is at the hands of his father; Batman’s parents died too young; and Aquaman has a beef with his mother. Wonder Woman is seemingly the only well-adjusted one of the bunch.
All of which somewhat explains the dynamic that becomes obvious as this “family” of superheroes is gathered. Batman and Wonder Woman are the mommy and the daddy, Flash and Cyborg are the adolescents searching for identity, and Aquaman is the hip uncle — or at least trying to be, in a heavy-metal kind of way. The main takeaway from this? They’ve bonded, by god, and now they can face Steppenwolf.
Too bad Steppenwolf is such a lame villain. He’s too smash-’em-up old-school to feel like a real threat to civilization, even with the help of the parademons, which look disconcertingly like zombified versions of the flying monkeys from “The Wizard of Oz,” and three “mother boxes.” Supposedly the boxes “destroy as they create,” whatever that means, and when unified will make Steppenwolf unstoppable.
It would help if Steppenwolf seemed more substantial. He looks too CGI. But worst of all, it seems no one could get his lips to move realistically — even though a bajillion people worked on “Justice League” and a bajillion dollars were spent in the process — making any fiendish pronouncements laughable.
“Justice League” has its moments (when asked what his superpower is, Batman replies, “I’m rich.”) but bottom line? It’s no Thor.
