If you’ve raised kids or gone to college, you can imagine how difficult it is to do both simultaneously. College students who are parents must find myriad ways to get their children fed and ready for their day, whether it means being dropped off at day care or school, and then prepare for their own day of classes, homework and test preparation. And for many student-parents, there is the added responsibility and pressure of having to earn a living.
The pandemic pushed the student-parent balancing act to a new level, compounded by the chaos, stress and forced isolation brought upon by the unfolding health crisis and shelter-in-place restrictions.
As a new school year is set to begin amid the pandemic, parents in college continue to struggle with how to juggle their classwork and their children’s schooling as the Covid-19 delta variant raises new questions about health and safety, as well as remote learning.
In March, researchers from UC Davis’ Wheelhouse Center for Community College Leadership and Research released a comprehensive study that offered rare insights into the lives of students who are also parents. By examining financial aid applications in 2018, the authors of the research found that out of 1.5 million applicants in California, about 202,000 of them were parents. The study also found that 3 out of 4 student-parents are women, with an average age of 34. EdSource interviewed seven student-parents about how they’re balancing their own academic responsibilities and that of their children’s as the pandemic grinds on, we now present their stories in a special series of articles. Part two will run in the Thursday edition of the Record-Bee.
Jessica Ross hopes for the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’
Jessica Ross is a single mom of three children and a senior at California State University, Dominguez Hills. After 15 years of college courses, the 37-year-old finds herself two classes shy of graduation. She hoped to complete those classes before her financial aid ran out in May and now is unsure how she will pay for the rest of her education.
Her struggles with virtual learning during the pandemic have led to a lowered GPA in her chosen field of advertising and public relations, in part because she had trouble keeping up with coursework and learning to use school-related design and editing software.
The Ross home is a constant hub of online school activity, attempting to support every level of education from elementary school to high school to university, to accommodate Ross and her three children, ages 8, 9 and 16. Sometimes to get the kids through school, Ross must give up her laptop to her children so they can finish their work.
During the school year, Ross’ oldest child had to be ready for her first 11th grade Zoom class of the day by 7:45 a.m. The third and fourth grade kids started online classes by 9 a.m.
“I have to sit there and micromanage my 9-year-old because he’ll fall asleep on Zoom and will sleep the whole class,” Ross said at the time. In addition, she said that her 8-year-old son has a third-grade school schedule that rivals the schedule of a high-schooler: “He goes to different periods every 30 minutes.”
Ross’ oldest child often had homework due within a 45-minute window at the end of each class period and often needed help with the quick turnaround of assignments.
At the end of the school day, Ross sometimes got her laptop back. Other nights her boys needed her computer for behavioral therapy on Zoom or coding classes.
“Managing your three kids, your family and school. You know, it’s all a delicate dance. One misstep can just ruin the whole dance,” Ross said. “It’s tough. And then my children are kind of challenging. One of my sons goes to a nonpublic school because there’s a lot of behavioral issues, and that takes a lot of my focus.”
Ross has been working toward her bachelor’s degree since 2005 when she enrolled part time at Merritt College in Oakland, California, where she eventually earned an associate degree in communication.
“I went for a couple of semesters and then took a couple of years off and then went back and basically started over,” Ross said. “In 2013, I went back full-time and finished community college.”
She tried to restart in 2017 but had to drop out when her son was suspended from school for behavioral issues.
“I just really couldn’t focus on continuing my education,” Ross said. “So, I had to stop going as a result. I just got all F’s that semester.”
Ross says that she had a better experience upon returning to Dominguez Hills in the fall of 2019 to complete her advertising and public relations degree and go on to work for a PR firm.
Beyond the issues of class scheduling for her and her children and daily issues like Wi-Fi access, Ross is frustrated because she cannot afford to buy her kids new computers or other items they need for school. Ross also struggled with her own online learning requirements, including the Adobe Suite of software in a virtual environment.
“I didn’t get a lot of support,” Ross said. “I didn’t get a lot of help. I didn’t get a lot of direction. I was lost a lot of the time; it was discouraging. I think the technical aspect of virtual learning is what hinders me the most.”
Ross came to the realization that she could not graduate in May, as she had hoped. Even worse, her 9-year-old may need to repeat the fourth grade. Despite the setbacks, she remains positive and committed to earning her degree because she sees that achievement as a path to pulling her family out of poverty.
“It might seem a little meek or bleak,” Ross said. “But it’s not always going to be a struggle. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Keep pushing. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.”
—Melanie Gerner
Why school comes second to family for Adriana González
For Adriana González and her two teenage children, the kitchen table is the epicenter of their educational universe. It is not always easy to share the same study space, the mother says, but she is grateful for the extra time she gets to spend with her kids and the bonding that has taken place caused by the pandemic.
The 41-year-old mother says she wants to be a role model for her children about having to sacrifice for education. She had dropped out of high school but returned so she could graduate and go to college.
González graduated in May from Cal State Polytechnical University, Pomona with a bachelor’s degree in Spanish and a minor in teaching English to speakers of other languages. She also hopes to earn a master’s degree.
“I’m a high school dropout,” González said. “And then I went to community college, and it took me a while to get through there. There were times that I wanted to give up. It was hard.”
González said that she often believed she was too old for college. But she was able to push herself forward by considering how much her degree could help her family, starting with teaching her children that it is never too late to earn an education.
Her son, who is 13, achieved top marks during the pandemic, earning a spot on the principal’s honor roll. Her daughter is 19 and recently completed her first year at Norco College in Riverside County. González says that her daughter has struggled with online learning because she prefers being on campus and interacting with professors and other students.
“I tell her if I can do it, you can do it,” González said. “I tried to lead by example, but I know that we both have different mindsets because I’ve been through so much as a single parent that I can handle it.”
Today, González manages to host three classrooms from her six-seat kitchen table in her three-bedroom home.
When González was at Norco College in 2013, one of her biggest challenges was finding someone to care for her kids. Sometimes she was forced to take them to class.
And when González’s son was 10, he attended so many of his mother’s community college courses that it became routine for her to send professors warning notes that he was coming.
“I had to take them with me to school,” González said. “Class space is small, so he had to sit outside, and I made sure to sit in the back chair to be able to keep an eye on him.” She paid a price, as she often struggled to concentrate on the class lessons while she constantly had to look over her shoulder to make sure her son was OK sitting outside.
González admits that while her own studies are a priority, they will always come second to her family’s needs.
“I know that it’s a campus, we’re safe, but still, as a parent, I can’t concentrate because what if he has to go to the restroom?” González said.
That’s why, despite the cramped quarters and inconvenience, González prefers narrowing her family’s school life to the kitchen table. Now, study time equals family time.
“My son will be doing his homework,” González said. “My daughter will be doing hers, and I’ll be doing mine.”
González says she also makes it a priority to remove her kids from the kitchen table so they can spend time on the couch watching movies together or get fresh air by sharing a hike or tending the garden in their backyard.
“I think that it’s hard just to focus one day on nonschool stuff, but you have to do it so that you can dedicate that time to your kids,” González said. “I have to study, but you have to be able to dedicate time for them. They grow up so fast.”
—Cassandra Reichelt
