When I relocated to Sri Lanka in 2002, no one there had any idea what Halloween was. No piles of candy in grocery stores, in fact I was hard pressed to find any chocolate at that time. It wasn’t until quite a few years later that M&Ms showed up on the grocery shelves.
In Sri Lanka my photo partner Lipton Jayawickrama celebrated my birthday one year by having a cake made in the exact shape of my Canon 1Ds MarkII camera. So cool and very yummy. That was a nice calm Halloween with a few friends over to share the cake.
Another year, I had my hairdresser make up my face, using a ton of eye makeup and lashes and she slicked my short hair back. Lipton and I met friends at an outdoor restaurant/bar. What I remember most of that night was meeting a newspaper editor, who was anti-government, who spoke of having to leave the county with her young son to avoid being arrested. The next I heard about her was that she and her son left two nights later and ended up in some location no one would confirm. Those sorts of things happened in Sri Lanka at that time, making Halloween, and most days, a truly scary time.
One birthday back here in Lake County, my family came to celebrate with me. We went to breakfast at Judy’s Junction where I deliberately ate enough carbs to last a lifetime; pancakes, French toast and hash browns. No wonder these several years later I had to lose weight!
I always spent a small fortune on Halloween candy and enjoyed handing it out, especially to little neighborhood kids. Three years ago, instead of eating the leftover candy, I gave it to the family down the street with three red-haired boys. This year, I’m not buying any candy, or giving any to the three boys since they don’t need to rot out their teeth. Plus my house is now a “no candy/sugar zone.” On the day itself, I’ll turn off the lights and go to bed and read a book.
But…I HAD to have some fun, so I went to “Haunted Lake County – What nightmares are made of!” (a non-profit, co-founded by Wayne Yahnke) My friend Mabel couldn’t go, so my friend Maude went with me. I picked her up and unlike Mabel, she didn’t mind me driving. Although Maude is the quintessential backseat driver, we somehow made it to the old Sears store on S. Main Street, conveniently located next door to a dispensary. Did people get high before going into the Haunt? That would be scary!
As we parked, I told Maude that I hoped I didn’t get so scared that I’d do a repeat of peeing my pants (see Record-Bee October 15 WGTD). Someone suggested I take my walking sticks for balance in the spookiness of the Haunt and I immediately rejected that idea, as when I get shocked, I tend to lash out. Don’t mess with this Halloween Baby!
So, we both entered the darkness and a weirdo ghoul immediately scared us. We both screamed. The ghoulish dentist scared me the most, because I actually was tired and wanted to sit in the dentist’s chair, until he creeped around the corner and I realized, if I had sat down, I would have lost a couple of teeth and definitely peed my pants.
The room with dolls made me want to take my time and look around, but Maude kept pushing me forward. A little creature crawled toward me and I went to pet it. “Here kitty, kitty.” I think it hissed as it shrank back, evading my touch. And then there was the teenage girl who was tied to the wall. She cried out to both Maude and I, “Help me! Help me!” I looked back at her as we hustled away. “Help me,” she cried. “No f%$#king way,” I yelled as I pushed Maude into the next room.
The one thing that freaked me the most, was having to squeeze through giant bags of…trash?…a birth canal? (it is my birthday) I tried once, unsuccessfully, I tried again and pushed and pushed and pushed, finally making it through as Maude cried out behind me, “What’s this? What’s this?”
When we were out out of the darkness. Maude stood tall and said she only screamed once.
What was a girl to do?… I laughed at Maude and ran to the car!
This year’s Haunted Lake County (https://www.facebook.com/hauntedlakecounty/) is a fundraiser for the Lakeport Volunteers Firefighters Association who were on hand, selling hot dogs to also help raise money.
Lucy Llewellyn Byard is currently a columnist for the Record-Bee. To contact her, email lucywgtd@gmail.com
