How was your Mother’s Day? Let me tell you about mine.
My daughter woke me out of a very early, very strange dream to wish me an exuberant happy Mother’s Day! Not remembering that it takes me hours to wake up, to get up and begin to function, she didn’t realize she was wishing a zombie a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, not her adorable, loving mother.
I’ve never been one to wake up to abrupt morning greetings. My mother always woke me gently with a soothing, singsong voice, which was weird because her normal speaking voice was filled with staccatos and definitely not singsong.
One time I was sleeping overnight at the curb of a friend’s Sacramento house in my small camper. I woke to the friend banging against the tin-can like side of the camper. Shocked awake, I bolted upright and yelled for her to stop! My bad mood stayed with me for the entire day.
I could list the amount of “Bad Awakenings” that have happened to me. My daughter’s Mother’s Day greeting is now on the top of the list.
Later as I sat on my couch, drinking my morning hot chocolate, I watched my favorite “Sunday Morning with Jane Pauley.” On it were several mother/daughter stories; stories that made me depressed and jealous that the families showcased were nothing like mine. And ticked off that my daughter hadn’t spewed out a bunch of lovey-dovey BS to me. (Even though lovey-dovey is definitely not her style!)
Just another Hallmark fantasy holiday.
My friends Mabel and Bart dropped off a gift of a beautiful powder blue hoodie for me. They put it on my porch bench and then drove off. I quickly called them and said, “Come back! Come back!” They did.
When I asked Bart if he acknowledged his mom on the Hallmark Holiday, he said, “I didn’t even like my mom, but if I didn’t acknowledge the day she’d never let me forget it!”
Bart also told me about his disdain for all Hallmark holidays and about the origin of Mother’s Day.
Bart said It began as a political anti-war effort to celebrate the day and to honor mothers.
I could plug in “Father’s Day” or “Easter,”… all the Hallmark Holidays that encourage people to buy buy buy rather then sit down, talk, share a meal any day of the year. I told my mother that I loved her no matter the day, as well as the rest of the family. Crazy enough, I resent the disappointment that comes over me if my own daughter doesn’t call me and proclaim her undying love.
Brainwashing. Commercial programming.
All in all, it was a good thing that she called me so early, because later that day, that Mother’s Day, my daughter took a nap. Her husband was in the kitchen. He heard something in the garage but ignored it. Then he heard another sound in the garage and went to investigate. When he went to open the door, the handle was hot and the door was warm. He cracked it open slightly and saw flames. The garage was on fire!
He shouted to my daughter to wake up and get out of the house. She ran barefoot to the neighbor’s. “Call 911!” she shouted as she burst into their house.
Thankfully, my daughter and husband had several fire extinguishers on hand and used them. The fire truck was there in a flash.
Everything, including my daughter’s car was toast. Their bikes were fried. Everything was either burned or covered in soot. Thankfully the fire was contained to the garage. The cause is still being determined.
So, in the wake of Mother’s Day 2023, this mother is extremely grateful that my family is safe and alive.
What’s a girl to do?… go out and buy not one, not two, but three fire extinguishers!
Lucy Llewellyn Byard is currently a columnist for the Record-Bee. To contact her, email lucywgtd@gmail.com
