I saw a segment on CBS “Saturday Morning” where an actress spoke about her legacy and it made me wonder about my legacy and the legacy of others.
My paternal grandmother was widowed for my entire life. I knew her as someone who lived in a flat in downtown Detroit. I’m not sure I ever knew what she did for a living but her legacy to me was a kind and gentle person who cared for me unconditionally. I could do no wrong in her eyes. She was the best.
My mother’s legacy changed as she got older. At one point she transcribed textbooks into braille. When her teacher died, she took over the role of teaching while continuing transcribing. She was also a champion of animals for her entire life and when she could no longer live alone, she let me care for her without fighting, realizing her freedom wasn’t at jeopardy but was transforming into something different; reading was no longer possible so she listened to Books on Tape. Driving was no longer possible so she learned to take the bus. Her legacy to me was courage. If I have a tiny bit of her courage, I’ll be fine always.
I put the question of, “Have you thought (or not) about your legacy?”
Grace, a writer friend of mine (and director of Santa Barbara Writers Conference), reflected that it’s “not in personal legacy, but in the work done and the effort to make things in this world better. And the world cannot become better without fostering others who have that mindset. It is not overly valuable (in this regard) to travel the world or see the latest movies or have a hefty Instagram following. The value comes in doing good work in some area and fostering the same good work in others. This is one reason I stay involved in Toastmasters. The practice of working on verbal communication skills is a basic first step in how people get involved with the world. Same with written communication. By perpetuating a world class writers conference, the Santa Barbara Writers Conference, I can foster better writing skills in a few hundred individuals every year as well as create a network of others supporting one another in writing that extends much further than the original group. Maybe that is what legacy is, but I don’t think about…better to do it.”
Another woman said, “I gave up long ago on the idea of being a Big Name in History, and now I guess I just want to have left the world a little better, and have alleviated some suffering. This world is pretty horrible, and as an atheist, I don’t believe anyone is coming to save us. We have to save each other. So I hope my legacy will be that I saved a few animals and maybe made life a little easier for some people. I don’t know what else to hope for.”
One fellow said, “Hopefully my legacy is in what I leave behind. Did it add or subtract? Recognition is secondary to value and purpose. I’d rather have someone say ‘Whoever did this, did a good job.’ The end product is what’s important.”
My brother died just days before his 19th birthday and I’ve heard, over the years, from some of his high school friends. I’d say that his legacy was one of kindness and humor. Everyone spoke of his humor. Being his little sister, I’m not sure I got his humor, but it was always touching when others spoke of it. My cousin Fred wrote: “My cousin Mark was a kind guy who loved nature and was very patient with his younger, less worldly cousin. He treated me as an equal and always made sure that I had fun when I visited his house. Like any teenager, he often strained at his parental restrictions, particularly from his mother, but there was always love in his heart. He was a good kid who was taken from us far too early.”
So what is my legacy?
I have no clue, I just know that I’ve worked hard and have always been empathetic toward people and animals, mostly animals as they are often powerless to their circumstances. I feel that I’m too empathetic, that it hurts too much to feel the pain of others. It’s only in the doing something that lessens my pain and helps others.
I’m not sure that’s how others will see my legacy but that’s not my business.
What’s a girl to do?…I do what I have to do to make my pocket of the world a better place.
Lucy Llewellyn Byard is currently a columnist for the Record-Bee. To contact her, email lucywgtd@gmail.com
