My friend Mabel looked in my cupboard one day and in a shocked voice she said, “Why in the world do you have so many boxes of Swiss Miss no sugar added hot chocolate?”
“There’s not that many,” I said, feeling very defensive.
Since then I’ve wondered what others hoard. Not in the Netflix documentary hoarding, but what could be defined as a collection, or a collection-plus.
I put the question to people and these are some of their replies.
Beatrice, my stylist friend, who I met in Sri Lanka, who has since lived in Switzerland, Lebanon, Belgium, other countries, and now in Israel, said, “The only thing I hoard, are handbags. I don‘t really hoard otherwise, since we are moving all the time. Purses are my passion. They always fit, they gain in value (if we are talking Chanel, eg.), and I love to look at them and accessorize. They upgrade an outfit.”
My friend Mabel told me, “My first thought was food. I have a lot and have to curb myself from buying more. I guess it’s how I grew up. My mom and stepfather only worked in the summer. So no income from September to April. What was in the freezer was it. I didn’t like most of the food as we got to the end of the season. I think that’s why I buy whatever I want now and sometimes too much.”
When I asked her which food she hoarded the most, she said, “Mashed potatoes, because my grandma used to make them for me and I would sit and watch Mitch Miller (on the TV) and read the song lyrics. Smooth with lots of butter.”
Now I know why Mabel always gets me mashed potatoes from Safeway when I’m sick.
At my ladies lunch (where I’m the youngest!), I asked a few what they hoard. Our hostess quickly said, “Nothing.” I couldn’t believe her as she has the best collections of everything I’ve ever seen. Christmas time at her house is better than Knott’s Berry Farm.
When I asked her again, she said, “Plastic bags.” Whenever we have the lunch at her house, she’s always prepared with plastic containers (new ones!) for leftovers and plastic bags for the takeaways. She’s the ultimate hostess, and the food is always yummy.
The lunch ladies are such an eclectic mix of women, ages from 75 to 94. I swear they could best me at Scrabble or a 10-yard dash!
One told me she saves empty cardboard boxes. “That way I always have something to ship things in. Plus they make great drawer dividers.” Great idea!
Another friend, who will also remain nameless, hoards comic books. He travels to get free offerings of them and won’t let anyone borrow them as he lost an important one back in college.
I think I’ve hoarded husbands. Dirty dishes. And now cats. And of course Swiss Miss No Sugar Added Hot Chocolate!
What’s a girl to do? No more husbands or cats!
Lucy Llewellyn Byard is currently a columnist for the Record-Bee. To contact her, email lucywgtd@gmail.com
