A friend, 52, has recently been offered a job that will change her life – from doing IHSS work – to doing CPS (Child Protective Services) work. A 40-hour workweek with benefits versus hourly wages and no benefits.
She’s been losing sleep from pondering whether she’s making the right choice, whether her husband will be able to pick up the slack of housework, getting the kids ready for school when she’s doing training in Sacramento. I tell her to “Stay in the moment.”
Not an easy thing to do but much easier than driving yourself crazy over what might or might not happen.
I learned that lesson in a very odd way. I took care of my mom’s elder cousin from the time Cousin Mary was 86 to 94 years old.
Mary had a very squeaky walker, and my mom had COPD and emphysema, which made her wheeze a bit loudly. I took them both to Knott’s Berry Farm to see the wonderful Christmas decorations, the carolers and all the lights. So there we were, Mom wheezing and Cousin Mary’s walker squeaking and me walking around them in circles because they were so slow.
When all was done and we were loaded in my car exiting the Knott’s Berry Farm parking lot, I turned to Cousin Mary in the back seat and said, “So, how did you like that?” And she answered with, “Like what?”
My mom and I cracked up. We hadn’t expected that answer.
Did I forget to mention that Cousin Mary suffered from Alzheimer’s? Yep.
That’s when I truly learned about staying in the moment. That’s all cousin Mary had. The Moment. She definitely loved seeing what Knott’s Berry Farm had to offer and that’s what counted.
I also learned that when I worry, I have the DJ from Hell on my shoulder and I need to wipe him off, quickly. When worried, I’m surely listening to KF$K Radio and I need to turn the channel to a more positive one quickly.
While watching The Great British Baking Show, I heard the contestant bakers encouraging each other to stay in the moment rather than worry about if they are going to make it to the final.
In looking up “staying in the moment,” I found, “Living in the moment means you pay attention to your present experiences instead of letting your mind get caught up in stressful and upsetting thoughts. Research shows that mindfulness, which is about being aware of your surroundings and body in the present, can have a range of benefits.”
In Sri Lanka, where I lived for 14 years, I visited an elephant rescue. The elephants were moving quickly to go to their bathing spot in the river. I tried to keep up with them. Instead of staying present and looking where I actually was, I looked at the elephants and fell right over a palm tree stump. As I fell, I had the instinct to keep my hands up, saving my expensive camera and lens from biting the dust!
One year, while at the Kelseyville Parade of Lights, I went to see behind the scenes and saw people in lighted Christmas tree outfits. I was so focused on them that I fell in a pothole and broke my expensive camera lens, plus bruised my torso in the shape of my lens. The paramedics were called, and they took me to the fire station about 50 feet away. So embarrassing. I sat there with a teenager who had the same lens as me and when Santa drove by in the big fire truck, the teenager gave me his lens and I ran out and took pictures of Santa. Of course, I did because I was on assignment for the Record-Bee! Can’t fall down on the job!
What’s a girl to do?… look down, look down!
Lucy Llewellyn Byard welcomes comments and shares. To contact her, email lucywgtd@gmail.com
