I went to our Ladies Lunch the other day and had so much fun.
There were 14 ladies, with one missing. I say the term “ladies” loosely because they picked on me. Probably because I’m the youngest one! Funny being the youngest person in the room.
Our host, Sue, always puts on the ritz; the decoration hits you immediately. Walking into her house feels like going into Santa’s house. I hadn’t felt the holiday season before then and now I have glorious memories and photos to last me until Santa slides down my chimney.
When I first began going to the Ladies lunch at restaurants around the lake, I felt immediately part of the group. I thought back then that I wished they were wearing name tags. Now it’s even more important to wear them because I couldn’t even remember one of my family member’s name the other day. The ladies are all in the same boat on Lake-I-Forgot!
One dear friend recently had a heart attack. It was interesting talking to her about that; there was no pain in her left arm and chest, just a fogginess. Fortunately she called her neighbor who called for help.
Another friend recently had a hip replacement and was in a rehab facility getting her mojo back. She insisted that she be sent home in time for our big party. She wasn’t going to miss that!
And then you have me with my stupid bronchial condition caused by accidentally inhaling Diatomaceous Earth put in my garden. They teased me about eating dirt, well at least I don’t have any stink bugs in me!
It was hard being in a crowd of chatty laughing women and not be able to join in the chat. When I’d say something to someone, that someone would inevitably say, “What?” Fortunately, the woman next to me would repeat what I said. That went on until I gave up.
As usual, the food was delicious. I spied the desserts (homemade apple pie, pumpkin bread and some mouthwatering looking chocolate cake) and wanted to cut right to them, but desserts were scheduled after opening the White Elephant gifts everyone brought. Damn!
Conversation was interesting, always. Mary Ann talked about going to kindergarten at her Catholic school and seeing a nun with a small skull on the beads around the waist of her black habit. No one believed that she could remember that detail so many decades later. Being the media member of the group, I looked it up on my phone and found that “A skull on a nun’s beads serves as a reminder of their mortality and encourages them to live a life focused on spiritual values rather than earthly concerns.” Check!
At some point there was a group sing. Another Sue had saved printouts of songs from previous years and added a lot more songs to the bunch. We were off! Lourdes took on the role of choir director and kept it going, even through the joyous (or deadly long) “The 12 Days of Christmas!”
I drew No.2 for choosing a White Elephant. It was a wine glass with a hilarious risqué saying on it that I cannot print. Immediately Hostess Sue, who had No.3, stole my glass! I was so upset. I’m still laughing about it.
One White Elephant I also wanted was a shoulder purse made out of denim, a cute painted black kitty peeking out of a pocket. Inside, Betty found a roll of John Wayne True Grit toilet paper with emergency edible underpants stuffed in the roll – the same kind of ER edible underpants she got at last year’s party! “They’re a lifesaver!”
I gave two lip balms and a bar of soap from my granddaughter’s skincare company and the ladies teased that the balms were batteries!
What’s a girl to do?…plot for next year’s White Elephant!
Lucy Llewellyn Byard welcomes comments and shares. To contact her, email lucywgtd@gmail.com
