I posed the question to several people on how do they live large with lots of limitations. I’ve had limitations popping up recently and they made me wonder how others are dealing with them.
One friend, in her late 60s, has Parkinson’s. Right now she’s in Mexico visiting a bunch of ruins. She bought a place on the beach in Mexico several years ago and spends most months there. I know her Parkinson’s is present in her life as I can see her hand shaking when we FaceTime, but in her quiet times she uses markers to draw intricate designs and she also makes anklets with beads to give away to friends. Nothing stops her.
One fellow responded with, “Thank goodness I don’t have to worry about trying to ‘live large.’ That’s one more stressful thing that I happily avoid. Oh sure, I have many limitations but I’ve had over 70 years to deal with them. I subscribe to the feeling expressed by the Swedish pop group Ace of Base, “It’s a beautiful morning, the best in life is free!”
A friend of 40 years responded. “I’ve always liked to challenge myself and strive to grow and most importantly to try to make a difference. I feel best when I do something nice for people I care about. I cannot sit idle, I take advantage of the beauty that surrounds me, be it a cultural experience, new foods to try, a new trail to explore in the park, a new band to hear, a new recipe to try, it’s endless. I think that limitations are what we put on ourselves but within reason. My current limitations have more to do with my physical abilities because like an old car, the parts are wearing down. But I still have a lot of get up and go both mentally and physically and want to continue making a difference and exploring the beauty of this planet. I’m still learning every day and whatever obstacles come my way, I will not succumb to them. I live large because I cannot slow down. Perhaps this is the special sauce. I believe in myself and that is key.”
One man replied in a lengthy email, “I end at 4 feet 3 inches. when the rest of the world begins at 5 foot 2 inches. I am a dwarf. For many years, I wanted to be completely independent and self-sufficient, never wanting or needing anything from anyone. That works better prototypically than it does in actual application. It was particularly unsettling when I had my mind on something, specifically something I wanted in a store.”
“It seemed that what I wanted was always on the top shelf, in a place I could not reach. Because I wanted nothing from anyone—not wanting to draw additional attention to my physical being—I wouldn’t ask anyone for help. Invariably I would leave the store angry, frustrated and empty handed.”
He continued, “One day it all changed. I was desperate for a Red Bull. I needed a caffeine fix and as usual, what I wanted was on the top shelf. Too self-contained and absorbed to ask for assistance, I started climbing the shelves in the cooler. I was halfway up and dangling when I heard a soft voice coming from behind me, ‘Would you like me to get that for you, Sir?’ OMG, this beautiful woman caught me in mid-ascent in all my dwarfish glory. Too late to play it cool, I said ‘Yes,’ and thanked her.”
“It was just a nice human being reaching out to assist another. From that very moment on, I have never been afraid to ask someone to help get something from the top shelf. I fully understood the difference between an obstacle and a limitation, and it set me free.”
What’s a girl to do?…reach for the Red Bull!
Lucy Llewellyn Byard welcomes comments and shares. To contact her email lucywgtd@gmail.com
